The Daunting Drama of Japanese Porn, Part II

I’ve had many requests for a follow-up to my original investigation into Japanese porn.  Such disgusting stuff.  Takes an effort to plow through it over and over and over….but, I’m a slave to my readers.  This is Part Deux, or as they say in Japan, dai bu. As anyone can see, the Japanese titles aren’t just a suggestion of what’s to come, they give away the whole first chapter.  By the way, these titles are real (not one word changed), but for the comments, blame me.

Intense Sex With a Lady Who Rocks Her Hips So Hard.  What’d ya expect? She was raised in the school of hard rocks.

Pure and Virtuous Pretty Girl’s Hapless Life Under One Roof With a Dangerous Stepfather.  I know what you’re thinking, but my sons aren’t married and they don’t date virtuous women.

Big-Breasted New Part-Time Worker Who Looks So Plain.  I thought you said ‘plain.’

Big-Breasted Mama Volleyball Team Training Camp.  On my 37^th birthday, I begged my mom to send me to one of these.

Setting Up His Wife For Adultery – I’ll Let You Screw My Wife.  Pissed ‘cause she took the house and car in the settlement?

Forbidden Nursing.  His wife thought he was bed-ridden, until she saw the smile on his face and the sheets start to wiggle.

Defiled Big Tits.  Stripus Humungous.  It’s what happens when your bra is too small.  Leaves those disgusting red marks.  Here, let me help…

Amateur With a Smooth Pussy I Got to Know By Way of An Online Dating Site.  Don’t keep me hangin’, bro, gimmie the name of the site!

Ladies With Hot Asses Who Shake Their Hips While Getting Tapped From Behind.  The inoculation mambo.  Often seen during flu shot season.

AV Actress Just Arrived At a Photo Society Session and Then Out of the Blue Came Sex, Immediate Insertion and A Raw Cream Pie.  The proctologist swears this was just a case of miscommunication...and so were the photos.

I Screwed a Sexually Frustrated Busty MILF.  Otherwise known as a SFBMILF.  Sure you did … and unicorns run wild on the prairie.

Big-Breasted Housewives Mahjong Club.  Enough with the big breasts! Mosquito bites are Japanese C cups. Mammograms require patience and suction. I’m guessing their Mahjong ain’t up to par either.

Entire Documentation of What a Private Teacher Did to a Big-Breasted Student Who Was Prepping For Her Exams – Hidden Camera Footage File.  This was an oral exam.  He gave her a retake.  Said she blew it.

Lady Who Wants to Be Violated.  Sorry, Admiral, but that excuse won’t float anymore.

I Came Without a Condom! We Were Covered With Oil and She Rubbed My Dick Between Her Thighs So That I Could Feel Her Pussy, And Because It Felt So Good, In It Went!  She’d had too much to drink, went home with the basketball team.  Whoops!  Roe versus Wade all over again, otherwise known as the ‘whoops’ solution.

Married Woman Who Entices Men From Her Veranda.  See, there ought to be a law.   Nobody ever addresses this problem.  Just the other day…

Big Tits Diagnosis.  “I’m sorry,” said the doctor, “What was the problem again?”

Perverted Defense Lawyer.  You’re puttin’ me on, right?

Community Life of A Small Girl and a Large Man.  Ok, help me out.  I’m guessing here. 

Cream Pie Sex With Big-Breasted Friends Who Came to Check Up On Me.  Ok, buddy, I want names and phone numbers and I want ‘em now.

Wives Who Devotedly Attend a Tennis School Receive Hands-On Man-to-Man Lessons By Well-Known Coaches Who Harass Them Sexually and Become Turned On As Their Big Tits Are Shaken Up.  Where to begin?  Well, first off, let’s talk ball control, and focusing on your grip…

Incest Between a Japanese Son and His Busty American Stepmother.  Helps to know the stepson is 35 and the stepmother is 18.

She Hadn’t Seen Her Uncle in Many Years and Asked Him to Bathe With Her Just Like Long Ago, The Niece With Big Beautiful Breasts Had No Concerns About Revealing Her Body Which Was Now Fully-Grown.  This family did not pray together.

Big-Breasted Lady Sneaking In While You Sleep to Have Sex.  Who hasn’t had this happen???

Blooming Life Erotic Drama – Won’t You Do It With the Older Sister? You’ve been harping on this since your 85^th birthday, Martha, and I’m telling you we ain’t diggin’ her up again!

My Wife Become A Deepthroat Dog.  If you want us to help you find her, you’re going to have to give us a better description.

All Wet- Big-Breasted Lady Whose Bra is Soaked Through.  This requires closer examination and a possible breast extraction.

Grandmother and Grandchild – Forbidden Carnal Relations Between a Lovely Young Big-Breasted Grandmother and a Grandchild Who’s Come of Age.  See, now that’s what I’m talkin’ about!  Who doesn’t enjoy a good love story?  Hollywood, drop those clichés and go for it!

Beautiful Young Manager of a Baseball Team – 9 Guys Disobey Her During Training Camp and Then Force Her to Satisfy Their Sexual Needs.  Foul balls?  Got to third base?  Infield open-fly rule? Strike three and you’re in?  The question before the jury is:  were they old enough or was this the minor leagues?

I Love Panty Stockings, I Am a Slave to the Indecent Contrast of Nylon Against Bare Skin and the Sensation It Produces.  Oh, tell me about it!  I’ve completely given up wool socks

These Married Women Frequently Take Lessons From a Driving Range Coach Well-Known For Sexual Harassment and Get So Turned On When Their Big Boobies Get Shaken.  First it’s the tennis lesson and the baseball team, now golf.  I tell you, these coaches have a rough time figuring out whose balls are whose.  I’m sure you know what it does to your back-swing when some big boobie shaking woman starts talking real loud.

Tallinn, Estonia - Cutest Place You've Never Been

Where the heck is Estonia?  Ok, kids, see the tiny green spot?

View Across the Old City Walls

St Alexander Nevsky Cathedral - Russian Orthodox

Just took a Baltic cruise on the Emerald Princess, a small boat holding about half the population of Estonia.  Matter of fact, our first port was Tallinn, Estonia.  So, let’s get the jokes out of the way.

What is the Capital of Estonia?  No Tallinn.

Where is it?  At the ‘Tal-linn’ of Europe.

Once you stop rolling around and brush the dust off, here’s another thing you should know.  Although we pushed through St Petersburg, Russia, Helsinki, Finland, Stockholm, Sweden, Oslo, Norway, and Copenhagen, Denmark, Tallinn was the crown jewel of the trip.

Beauty is everywhere, including this outdoor cafe

14th Century St Olav's Church in the background

Not saying any of those were bad places to visit, and especially St Petersburg is a fabulous blend of history and art.  Nevertheless, Tallinn’s old, walled-city charm, friendly people, and hometown atmosphere captured my heart.

Anybody know that Estonia is a part of the European Union and uses Euros as their currency?  I didn’t.  Unlike previous jokes to the contrary, this is not the tail-end of Europe, but a surprisingly robust and sophisticated city.

You might want to know where the odd sounding name came from.  Sorry, f-f-f-folks, I don’t know.  Hard to say with certainly and any translation is rough, at best.  Could have come from old Danish, meaning Stable Town, or Castle Town, or the name may come from any number of old Finnish words.  But, officially, Tallinn hasn’t been Tallinn for long.  Up until independence (1918-20), the place was called Reval (Ray-vaal).

Not to put too fine a point on it, Tallinn’s creaky and blood spattered past creeps back some 5000 years.  Since then, it’s been a vicious political playground, cross-stitched with conquerors from all across Scandinavia, as well as Germany, and the Soviet Union.  In recent history, Estonia’s 20^th Century independence only lasted twenty-two years before Hitler’s and Stalin’s so-called Non-aggression Pact allowed the Soviets to march in.  Between then and the fall of the Soviet Union, Estonia was definitely a land of tears and regret.  Huge portions of the population were ‘resettled,’ over and over.  When Germans and Russians were not slaughtering people, thousands of others were being moved east to populate Siberian Gulags.  The last Russian troops left in 1994.  Since 1991, Estonia has once again been free.  They’re proud of their freedom and know first hand what the alternative is.

Talk about a bounce back!  Today, the Estonians are hailed as one of the freest people in the world.  Their economy is booming and Estonia is listed as one of the most ‘wired’ countries in the world.  In Tallinn, free internet is available everywhere.  The government functions as an e-government, or electronic government.  Yes, the representatives and prime minister meet in person, but they also vote through the internet, as does the general population.  Want to know what a citizen friendly place this is?  Balanced budget.  Nil public debt.  Flat rate tax.  Free trade.  Think this might lead to an economic boom?  Here’s the kicker:  Estonia is practically energy independent, producing 90% of their electricity from locally mined shale oil.

Tallinn is also a beautiful city.  I snapped photos ‘til my fingers went numb.  As with most small countries that rely on commerce, Estonians have their own language, but also speak a variety of second, third, fourth and fifth languages.  When I say ‘speak,’ I mean they can joke with you using American slang, then turn and babble on in Russian, or Finnish.

The prices in Tallinn are comfortable.  Unlike most of Scandinavia, you can sip a beer without taking out a loan.  Hand knitted wool sweaters are about half the price they are in Norway.

Ok, men, let’s cut to the chase….literally….Estonian women are gorgeous and unlike most Scandinavians, even vertically challenged men who have no hope of making the basketball traveling squad, still have a significant chance of finding that Cupid’s arrow did not overshoot by six inches.

Our Guide on the right.  By the way, SPB Tours is excellent

Yes, on all counts, Tallinn is a lovely piece of the globe and the only city on our trip where I would joyfully spend a summer, sipping morning coffees in the cafes, having fabulous open-air lunches, and snapping photos until my forefinger had calluses, while sloshing down an afternoon beer, and sucking in great gulps of the fresh sea air. If under threat of bodily harm, I might even take my wife.

The 7th Century Market Square.  Nearby is Europe's oldest Pharmacy and the birth place of Marzipan.

The woman is stylish and has that ...Je ne sais quoi...and with all my heart and soul I want to know  quoi!

Back to the ship!  Emerald Princess on the right.