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Sunday, August 6, 2017

Tortilla Español

Ah, the glory of a tapas bar

Tortilla Español

 Here's a recipe that'll amaze your friends and confuse your enemies.  A Spanish tortilla.  Oh, yeah.  Delicious.  Impressive, but easy.  Of course, as you know I don't do difficult recipes.

One of the unexpected pleasures of dropping into a Tosca (tapas bar) in Spain is having the barkeep plunk down a tasty nibble along with your wine or beer.  You don’t have to ask.  You only have to eat, drink, and chat until it’s time to get a refill.  Often the tidbit accompanying your drink is a small square of tortilla Español.

No my friends, it’s not a tortilla of corn or flour you get at your fav Mexican eatery, it’s a potato filled omelet, usually served at room temp.  I can hear those wheels grinding.  Omelet with beer or wine in the early evening?  The simple answer is: YES!  Served warm or cold, it’s delicious and filling, but not so filling you have to stop drinking, which we all know was your real reason for stopping in and gripping the bar with both hands.

Look at it this way, you can buy a lady a drink and feed her at the same time, which was the other reason you stopped in, with the top two buttons on your linen shirt undone and a look as hopeful as your dog when he meets you at the front door.

Now is the time for me to impart some expert advice on how to properly and quickly pick up women.  But, first I need to find an expert...

Guess you’ll just have to be satisfied with my superb recipe that improves on the original.  The original tortilla has just potatoes inside.  I add a few tasties. All you have to do after you make it is buy a bottle of wine and invite some women.  Hungry women, if you know what I mean.

Tortilla Español

9 Eggs
¼ Cup milk
3 medium sized potatoes, peeled and thin sliced
4 inch piece of Spanish chorizo, casing removed, cut into thin slices and quartered
1 onion, peeled, cut in quarters and thin sliced
Salt and pepper to taste
Olive oil

Begin by putting a slosh of olive oil in a high-sided skillet, and frying the potato and onion slices until they are cooked through, but not browned. Add the chorizo slices and toss, just enough to warm the chorizo up.

Set the mixture aside while you put the eggs and milk in a bowl and scramble until you have a uniform color.

Add another slosh of olive oil to the frying pan, pour in the eggs mix and let it cook for a minute or two on low heat. Add the potato/onion/chorizo mix to the omelet and spread the potatoes out evenly.  Make sure you’re using low heat or the bottom will burn.  Cook until the omelet is set, about 30 minutes.  I cover the pan to speed the process.

Here’s another way I differ from the original.  Spanish cooks flip the omelet into another skillet to brown the other side.  This is fine for Spanish cooks and the world’s greatest magicians.  For common folk with the hand eye coordination of blinded mules, I suggest instead foregoing the slight of hand required to flip a semi-cooked omelet from one hot skillet to another without screaming in pain. Simply and quietly slide the skillet about 8 inches under your oven broiler and let the other side turn brown.  No flip or flopping or messing about.

Here’s another hint:  The thickness of the omelet is solely determined by the size of the skillet you’re using.  Thick omelet = smaller pan.  I used a mid-sized pan, as you can tell by the thickness of the tortilla Español in my photo.

Still another hint?  Oh, you bet.  Make your tortilla several hours, or even a day ahead.  That way, when the ladies arrive, you can pour wine and chat, while the ladies bat their eyes and do all those other things ladies do to get you to make a fool of yourself.  Yes, men, we are fools, but fools can make a damn fine Tortilla Español!

1 comment:

  1. I've cooked a few potato egg quiche and loved them. I bet this is yummy! Eyelashes demurely batted.