Strawberry Shortcake, minus the shortcake

Whip it!  Whip it good!

Whip whites to stiff peaks

The completed cake.  Turn out on a rack to cool.

Now it's the strawberries turn.

What the heck is shortcake anyway?  Am I the only one who wants to know?  Remember all those biscuits and scones I wrote about in other titillating blog entries?  Any baked good made with shortening, including butter, is a ‘short bread.’

There’s nothing wrong with short bread.  Eat a lot of them myself, but for strawberries and cream, nothing beats sponge cake.  Rather limiting?  Not if you pass up the commercially made, chemically enhanced, never rot in a hundred years, lining the supermarket shelves junk and make your own.

The first thing you’re going to do is look at the recipe I so thoughtfully provided and say to yourself….WAAAY too hard.  Wait a sec!  If it’s hard to make, I don’t make it!  Yes, my sponge cake takes a trivial amount of time longer than ripping open a cellophane wrapper and tossing some sponge gunk on a plate.  Tastes a hellofa lot better, too.  The question you have to ask yourself, punk, is:  Are you worth it?  Well, are you?

Rule one in cooking: Gather your family (or other freeloaders) in your kitchen.  Rule two:  open a bottle of delightful wine.  After that, cooking becomes a pleasure, followed by a wonderful meal, followed by unbridled ….wait a sec, that’s with your loved ones, not your family.  Common error.

Sponge Cake or Biscuit de Savoie

7 eggs, separated (no, not by size, color, or national origin – yolks and whites, fool!)

1 1/4 Cup sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 1/2 Cups sifted all-purpose flour

Soft, unsalted butter for cake pans (or spray cooking oil) + All-purpose flour for cake pans

Two 9 inch cake pans.  I use rectangular cake pans, but round ones are fine.

Set the oven to 350 ºF or 175 ºC

Cut out pieces of parchment to line the bottoms of the cake pans.  Brush the parchment with butter (or spray with oil) and put them in the pans.  Dust the pans with flour and shake out the excess.

Mix the egg yolks, sugar, and vanilla in a bowl until the mixture is pale yellow.  I use an electric mixer.  Combine the flour with the yolk mixture to make a batter.

Beat the egg white until they form stiff peaks.  Hint:  if there is even one speck of yolk in the egg white, they will not beat to stiff peaks.

Fold a third of the beaten egg whites into the yolk/flour mixture.   When they’re combined, fold in the remainder of the fluffy egg whites.

Divide the batter between the two pans and bake in the center of the oven for about 25 minutes, or until a knife inserted in the center of the cake comes out clean.

Turn the cakes out on a rack to cool.

Meanwhile, thinly slice your strawberries, put them in a bowl and mix with a spoonful or two of sugar.  I save a whole strawberry to decorate the top of each serving.

Whip the cream until it is thick.  Add a scant tablespoon of sugar and mix well.  Hint:  if you add the sugar first, the cream will not whip properly.

I think you can take it from here.  If not, you were correct not to attempt a sponge cake.  Confine your meager talents to peanut butter and saltines, or crunch your way through an uncooked package of ramen.