Thursday, February 13, 2014

Le Vin de Merde - Holy Shit, Pierre!


A Red and A Rosé




















No I’m not making up the name, although over the years I may have associated that moniker with a wine or two.  Several years ago I poured an entire bottle of Hungarian wine down the sink.  Had a happy ending.  It cleared the drain.

Le Vin de Merde?  Was the vintner dazed from a hard day at the vats? The wine is from Southeast France, bordering the Mediterranean.  The Languedoc-Roussillon Region. Besides wine, other things that put this treasure spot on the map are caves, beautiful ancient villages, camping, and the Pyrenees.  Makes you want to drag the vintage Jag out of the garage and go for a spin through granite hewn tunnels and twisting turns of a mountain road.  Or, maybe you prefer to just sip a wine.



With a name like Le Vin de Merde, you’d expect a snappy slogan and you’ll not be disappointed:  Le pire cache le meilleur = the worst hides the best.  (For English speakers, Lu peer cash lu may-you’re).  You’ll note from the photos there’s a fly on the label.  Appropriate.  Below the label you’ll find Le Vin des Philosophes, the wine of Philosophers.   Ah, you’re thinking, must be good shit!

Jean-Marc Speziale, the genius restaurant owner and marketer behind the brand, got a friend and qualified oenologue to blend wines from the region, because, as he put it,  “I know many winemakers. I understand their daily problems, and to hear that people continue to class the wines of our region as ghastly plonk or, worse still, Algerian drain-cleaner, makes my blood boil. Winemakers around here bend over backwards to get the very best from their vines.”

Let it be noted they bend over backwards.

You could go on and on with the witticisms.  This wine is only served in Le Maison de Ptomaine.  They also serve Bière de Pissoir.   Don’t grab your Guide Michelin, I’m joking.

Monsieur Speziale has the last laugh.  His first 5000 bottles in 2008 sold out faster than you could say No Shit! and they have continued to top the regional charts.  So, how did your fortunate chronicler happen to find a bottle or two, and what did it cost?

Down the street from me, well to be honest, down the super-fantastic-German-Autobahn, is the quaint country of France.  Shortly after you flash across the border, you’ll find a Super Walmart….hahaha…only kidding.  Cora, which could easily be translated as Super Walmart, except that Cora has a food and wine selection that’s like having your own private food merchant deliver fresh daily.  Cheese varieties by the hundreds.  A fish market bigger than many grocery stores.  Yards of fresh bread from an on-site bakery.  Wines by the thousands.  It was there that the name caught my eye.  Opinions of wines vary greatly, but I’d never seen them expressed so clearly on a label.  Six and one half Euros, or a little less than nine bucks a bottle.  I made sure no one was looking down his Gallic nose at me and grabbed two bottles, a red and a rosé.

The wife came home, tossed off her coat and scarf, and collapsed on the couch.  I greeted her joyfully.  “Honey, I’ve got some shit wine for you!”

Enough of the blather. How ‘bout the wine???  Ok, first the red:



Fruity nose.  On the first sip, hints of citrus, and leather.  Smooth finish.  This  is not a sophisticated wine, meaning no strong flavors and no heavy tannin.  Vin ordinaire.  Didn’t taste what all the fuss is about.  I wouldn’t turn down another bottle, but I’m not storing a case or two in my cellar.

Now the rosé:

Great with a soft blue cheese and a fresh baguette


Pleasantly strong floral nose.  Did I smell roses?  Makes you want to take another whiff.  On the first sip, sour cherries and an oak finish.  This is a wine that could stand up to roast beef, or be a pleasant sip on the back porch, while you watch your 25 year old neighbor stretch out for some nude sunbathing.  Still, it’s not a wine I would stock.

Why would I not especially want more of either of these wines?  Bad stuff?  Not at all, but not distinctive either.  Creates no cravings, unlike the neighbor. Sipped with a common comment of “not bad” and then quickly forgotten.

Once again, a master marketer has hit a home run, but for me, I don’t really care about the final score. 



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