Friday, September 5, 2014

Gluten-Free Biscuit? Muffin? Whatever, They’re Delicious






Ok, I know, the jury is still out.  Some say  - and have made an obscene amount of money saying it – that gluten is the root of all eating-evil.  They say most of the multitudinous obese Americans should blame their rotund waistlines and generally poor health on wheat, rye, barley, and being overly familiar with Crispy-Kreme.

Then I read another article that claimed, of the 18% of Americans who go gluten-free, about 1% of them really need to.  Also read the % is far less than 1%.  I’m confused, which you can tell from the whiff of first-class whisky on my breath.



I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’m not a scientist, or a medical doctor, or a dietician.  On the other hand, I don’t have to carry a Ship Load of Insurance. And, to my credit, I’m also not either a politician or an economist.   

I’m just a normal, whiskey drinking, boob obsessed guy.  I don’t go racing through the streets, waving my arms, screaming about the downfall of civilization when I see someone eating bread.  I save that for when I run out of beer.  Beer, by the way also has gluten.  Damn you, Goddess-of-the-Harvest!

I do have friends (which may come as a shock) who are gluten-free for both cosmetic and genuine health reasons.  And I have to admit I’ve seen dramatic results from those diagnosed with Celiac disease who have chosen to go gluten-free.

Even when it’s not called gluten-free, there are a lot of diet regimens that don’t allow grains.  Akins and Peleo are just two I can mention.  Every diet has it’s bad points. Those two also leave out essentials, like pudding, and French-fries.

Some things you may think have gluten don't:  Rice in all its forms and corn in all its forms, plus millet, buckwheat, quinoa, sorghum, soy, potatoes, and others.

Ah, science.  It’s wonderful moving target.  The so-called ‘facts’ change with the next set of data points.  So refreshing.  Yesterday’s scoundrel (eggs, fat) is today’s hail-fellow-well-met.  Redemption by data.

But, let’s skip the petty bickering and get to the real ‘biscuit in the oven.’  For those who want to go gluten-free and are tired of corn tortillas, baked potatoes, and grits, I have a semi-wonderful alternative to make those newly redeemed mornings of streaky bacon and eggs-over-easy really blossom.  Gluten-free Biscuits!  Easy to make, easy to bake.  You can even call them muffins if you want to feel really, really naughty.

The very simple recipe:



Preheat the oven to 450ºF (230ºC)

In a medium bowl, mix two cups of gluten-free flour, two heaping tablespoons of baking powder, and a half-teaspoon of salt.  Stir well. 



Using a pastry cutter or a fork, cut-in 6 tablespoons of butter.  The mixture should look grainy.




Thoroughly stir in one cup of water.  The batter will be as thin as pancake batter.  Wait a minute or two and it will thicken to the consistency of cake batter.



Grease eight muffin cups and fill them with equal amounts of batter.  Put the pan in the oven and bake for 14 minutes.  The muffins will rise and turn tan.  They’re ready!  Don’t wait for them to brown.




Voilà!  Perfectly delicious!  Ready for jam, unless you’re diabetic, or lactose free, or just not into feeling really, really naughty.




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