A lot of ignorance out there about making cakes. I hear whiners bleating, “It’s too hard!” Or, “I don’t have a box of cake mix!” Balderdash!
I’m going to still your anxieties and bolster your confidence. Stick
with me! You’re about to experience
raging success in the kitchen and bask in the warm glow of praise from friends
and even family.
I dearly hope, for the sake of your demanding kin and
freeloading pals, you are not one of the fearful whiners. But, if you are, don’t punish yourself. Get over it! Uncage your star power! And just to show you how confident I am, while
you read this splendid article, I’m going to sit back and sip a snifter of
brandy. If I doze off, please wake me to
the sound of ear-splitting applause.
The longest time you’ll spend making this cake is the hour or
so it sits in the oven, which gives you plenty of time to down that bottle of
wine, do your mind and body bending yoga, watch videos of cute puppies, view
the artwork of precocious children, and babble with your so-called friends on
the social media of your choice.
You see, cooking is not simply about eating, but about time
management. While you create
lusciousness, you’ll have time for getting in shape and becoming a wine connoseur,
konnisewer, conaseur connoisseur. Other things you can do while the cake bakes:
drag your $%@&^* children off the *^%@& video console and show them how
to crochet, teach your spouse about algorithms, perform an appendectomy on your
pet, or do some nude sunbathing in your neighbor’s backyard.
Meanwhile, let’s do some bakin’!
Easy Coconut Cake
Box of cake mix ---HELL NO! Not in YOUR kitchen!
First: Heat the oven
to 350ºF (180ºC)
Grease and lightly flour an 8 x13 inch high sided glass
baking dish
2 ½ Cups of flour
2 Tablespoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
1 ¼ Cup sugar
1 Stick, plus 4 tablespoons butter
1 Tablespoon of vanilla extract
¾ Cup Milk
1 Tablespoon Rum
1 Tablespoon roughly grated lemon rind (about one lemon’s
worth) Hint: if you use the finest grate, it’s going to take much longer and
not worth the effort.
8 egg yolks
1 Can Cream of Coconut (the thick, sweetened kind), 14 ounces (see photo)
2 Cups unsweetened
coconut flakes (if you use sweetened flakes, reduce the sugar to 1 Cup)
Put the first four ingredients and ONE CUP of coconut flakes
in a large mixing bowl and stir. Add the
butter in chunks and the vanilla extract.
Use an electric mixer (I use a hand held) to mix and fully blend. Add the rum and grated lemon rind. Now add
the egg yolks one at a time, beating at full speed. Add the milk and beat until
everything is well blended.
Pour the batter into the greased and floured pan and bake
until brown on top and a knife comes out clean when you plunge it into the
middle of the cake.
I set my timer on 30 minutes, check the cake and add another 20-30
minutes. Your time may differ, based on
altitude and your oven, but the tests of ‘brown’
and ‘clean knife’ do the trick every
time.
While you wait for the cake to finish baking, melt just a bit
or two of butter in a medium hot frying pan.
Add the second cup of grated coconut and toast it. Warning:
Stir constantly and don’t take your eyes off the coconut for a second! When the coconut is properly toasted, dump it
onto a plate to cool.
When the cake comes out, put the pan on a counter top and go
back to yoga until it’s cool. Using a
fork, chopstick, or other piercing tool, make deep holes in the cake. Lots of
them!
You’ll see why in the next step.
Open the can of cream of coconut, put it in a bowl and mix until
it’s syrupy. Slowly pour it over the cake allowing it to soak in. If you’re getting too much runoff, make more
holes or decorative slices in the cake. The idea is to have a moist cake.
Sprinkle the toasted
coconut over the cake. There it is! You’re the cook, the champion of the kitchen! How ‘bout another bottle of wine to
celebrate???
A vital question: What
do you do with the eight leftover egg whites?
For me the choice was simple. I
made coconut macaroons.
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