My Fair Lady Updated

 

My Fair Lady

 

Practically everyone over the age of fifty knows the movie, My Fair Lady, staring Rex Harrison and Audrey Hepburn.  And maybe you aging musical addicts also know the musical was taken from Pygmalion, the play by the famous British playwright George Bernard Shaw.

 

Anyone know what Pygmalion means?  Comes from Greek mythology.  Pygmalion was a king who created the sculpture of a woman, then fell in love with the statue.  Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of sexual love and beauty, brought the statue to life.  Too long a neglected deity in my opinion.

 

We could discuss that a long, long time, summed up by something often attributed to Winston Churchill.  Whether he said it or not is another question.

 

-       It’s not a woman’s fault that men woo goddesses and find they have married mere mortals. –

 

But back to My Fair Lady, a movie that won many Oscars in 1964.  Has it really been that long?  Three years short of 60 years ago?

 

Well, it’s time for an update for Americans, don’t you think?  Yes, it was a strictly English style musical, but filmed at Burbank studios, in Burbank, California.  Not one scene of it was filmed in London. So, what would it need for today’s American audiences.

 

I have some ideas for updating the title and some of the songs.  The songs, of course, were written by Austrian, Fredrick Loewe, and American, Alan Jay Lerner.  This is not the America of 1964 and needs a refresh for American audiences. 

 

First of all, the name must surely change:  My Fair Person

 

Updated versions of some songs:

 

Why Can’t Americans Teach Their Children How to Eat

 

Gun Fire On the Street Where You Live

 

Get Me A Line of Coke On Time

 

I’ve Grown Accustomed to Her Tattoos

 

I’m An Ordinary Transgender Man

 

I Should Have Fled in Fright

 

I’m Offended That the Rain in Spain Falls Mainly on the Plain

 

And there are so many other movies that could use an update.  I’m sure you can think of a few.