A Pleasant Little Southern Coffee Show

 

Broiling hot, even in a Georgia morning and even in the mountains.  Walking down the sidewalk, looking for a place to hide from the heat. Turned a corner, after passing a very big Catholic Church. All of a sudden, my mind screamed! Without thinking I did a quick dancing  two-foot leap with a mouth full of astonishment enough to startle a host of sleeping angels, and make a priest pray it wasn't only sweat in his wet robes.  

 

Blame the bright sunshine and the driver who nearly bested me, when his car sent me a screech that thankfully stopped from me from having me to shake hands with St Peter.

 

The driver, an older man, rolled down his window and asked pleasantly, “I know you’re new here. Want some help? Where are you going, son?” I could immediately tell I was in the south. This man was being kind.

 

I was catching my breath, but managed to spit out, “Coffee.”

 

“Other side of the street, son. ‘Bout half a block. Beans and Grounds.  Can’t miss it. Tell Miss Beauford, that rascal Willard sent you.”

 

Nice place, just where Willard said it was. Miss Beauford was out for the day. Gallstones, and her husband was at the hospital getting a colonoscopy. 

 

The waitress, whose name I thankfully can’t remember, but who I silently called Get-A-Bra, decided she should love get into medical details.  “This is the third time this year. You know everything Miss Beauford had to go through? And there’s her husband. I won’t say it all, but it is when they use a long tube….”

 

I had to jump in. “I know. I’m a doctor.” Which I am not. “Breast enlargement are much more fun.”

 

“Well….,” she looked startled.

 

“Or breasts and big tubes …..”

 

“Oh…..I should take your order.”

 

“Did you say Miss Beauford’s husband is having a colonoscopy?  Well please don’t ask me if I want biscuits with brown gravy.”

 

Quickly, Get-A-Bra fled toward the lady’s room, calling to another woman something she wasn’t able to fully say with both hands over her mouth.

 

Soon enough, a very charming young woman appeared.

 

“Are you ready to order?”

 

“Just coffee, please.”

 

“Are you sure? We have wonderful omelettes with large French-fried chicken breast? 

 

“Just coffee, please.”  We’ll talk about the breasts later, and Father forgive me for I hope I know where this his going
.