Tea at Harrods

I keep telling myself I’m not going to Harrods this time.  Been there over and over. Trotted through the misty rain.  Pushed through the fumbling crowds.  Met the security guards’ stares with a sunny smile.  Nope, not this time.  Not going again.

Then somebody mentions the name, damn them, and I find myself in Knightsbridge, pushing through the heavy glass doors,  browsing the spectacularly redolent  Food Hall, gapping at the £19 (about $31.25) half dozen oysters.  Those are the cheapies.  The expensive ones go for $50 for six.  Not trying to wow you, just reporting the truth as this pauper sees it. (followed by tears and a forced smile)

Go ahead.  Stroll though the fine jewelry room, the obscenely expensive watch emporium, and dejectedly trundle into the fine wines and spirits cellar, where Cuban cigars can run you a cool $50 for one.  Didn’t have the heart to reach out and touch the bottle of the 1951 McCallum Scotch Whiskey (£20,000 or about $33,000).  And my wife thinks I have a drinking problem.  Saw a bottle of French cognac for £30,000.  I’ll leave the math to you.  Breaks my heart to think about it.

So, what can a man and two friends do when they are of moderate means and a used candy wrapper from Harrods is a family heirloom?

Fancy a Cuppa?

Madame et Messieur, may I sooogeeest The Tea Room?  Mais, oui!  Here you may live out your fantasy of sipping a tea, while your chauffeur patiently waits by the Bentley, carefully polishing the door handles, and your bespoke tailor calls to say he will gladly hold your appointment.

Yes, Harrods’ Tea Room is the great equalizer.  A black and white decked waiter will treat you with the politeness reserved for dukes, as he attentively watches you browse the extensive menu.  

Teas of every variety

“May I suggest….” He begins. 

“Suggest away, my good man.  I have no more clue than a nun on a blind date.”

Black tea.  Green tea.  White tea.  All from the far flung regions of the former empire. After all, this is Harrods.  Hard to believe this nonpareil department store, with 330 departments began as a simple grocer, blossomed to hugeness, went public and was purchased by The Fayed Brothers (Egyptian) in 1984 (£615 million) and sold to the current owner, Qatar Holdings in 2010 (£1.5 billion).  No wonder the Harrods motto is Omnia Omnibus Ubique – All Things for All People, Everywhere.  This giant occupies 5 acres and has over a million square feet of selling space.

Quick bar bet winner:  On average, who purchases the most from Harrods??? The average spent by a Chinese shopper is three times greater than that spent by shoppers of any other nationality.

Without getting too political, my wife, a school teacher, bought a beautiful top coat here in the early 1980s, but that was when the dollar was king, making Harrods prices reasonable.

Back to tea.  £5 for a pot of your choice.  We ordered a green, a black, and a white, although one pot would have easily served the three of us.  Plus crumpets. 

With loose tea (far more flavorful) one needs a strainer.

A true English crumpet

Anyway, what are crumpets?  In the former North American colonies, we call them English muffins. The ones in Harrods however are not laced with enough preservatives to compete with Egyptian mummies.  Nope.  These are fresh off the grill, with a dark brown, toasty bottom, and lots of little bubbly dimples on top.  Succulently chewy. Of course, they come accompanied with churnery butter and tiny jars of jam.

How was the tea?  The white had the best nose, with floral accents enough to make you escape with your true love to the garden and propose on bended knee.  The green offered milder flavor, but with a certain serenity on the tongue.  The black, an Assam, had almost no nose, but the full and intriguing flavor ruled the day.

The bill came to something in the neighborhood of £20-25.  Can’t remember exactly.  Too busy considering how I could unsay all those things I said in the garden.

Harrods.  A shopping experience like no other in the world, in the largest and most complete store in the world.  Where money disappears like a spring snowfall.  But, where in the quite solace of a corner of The Tea Room, you can become one with the nobility.  And, yes, no doubt I will be back.

Harrods' Food Halls, An English Tradition

Walls and Floors in Magnificent Tiles

Just one of the many ornate displays

A Few Things Don't Cost the Earth

        (Be sure to scroll down for more photos and a recipe.)

Been to Harrods? It’s the massive pillar of London’s upper crust section, Knightsbridge.  Ya gotta go.  More than just another department store, it’s a sight, a destination, a one of a kind playground for eyes, imaginations, and pocketbooks.

But, like anything else, to get the most out of a visit, you really should know a bit about what you’re seeing.  Harrods stands as towering reminder of the enduring entrepreneurial spirit of its founder, Charles Henry Harrod.  Chuck, as he has never been known, opened his one room shop in 1849, selling tea and groceries, and employing two clerks and a messenger boy.

Since then it’s blossomed into a looming seven floors and over a million square feet of luxury, fulfilling every need of even the most demanding and deepest pockets.  In short, it lives up to it’s motto, Omnia Omnibus Ubique,  All Things for All People, Everywhere.  Check out all the good stuff at http://www.harrods.com/.

Just name it and you can buy it here.  Let your imagination wander.  Yep, they’ve got it!  But, my favorites and probably the world’s favorite sections are the food halls.  No market I have ever seen can match it, either for luxury, quality, or service, with prices to match.  Want to sit at the Caviar House Oyster Bar and enjoy a half dozen?  Well, you’d better know your oysters because the selection includes varieties from all over Ireland and Great Britain.  Go and scoop up a half dozen and at today’s exchange rate you’ll plunk down about $46, or op for the seafood platter, which includes two glasses of wine.  $247.50.

For obvious reasons, being married and having no reason to impress being the main ones, I wander aimlessly, asking questions, peering at the food, and wondering what ever became of man’s natural lust for a bargain.  No bargains here.  The food staff, wearing aprons and boaters attends to your every need, including your finger pointing at sausages you’ve never before laid eyes on, or hanging rabbits, or brightly feathered birds ready for plucking.  “

You’ll have to admit, however, that the berries are perfect, every one of them.  The apples shine.  The joints of beef fit for Henry VIII. The displays are a marvel of panache, and if you plod and poke enough, you can in fact savor a souvenir or two for under ten bucks.  Ah, the meats!  Ah, the teas!  Ah, the breads!  Amen.

Back in 1985, Mohammed Al Fayed, an Egyptian, purchased Harrods for £615 million.  You might remember the name.  His son perished with Princess Diana on that fateful evening of the unhappy car crash.

Recently, Mr. Al Fayed sold the property to the Qatari royal family for £1.5bn, a tiny profit of just under 200 %.

I doubt the sale will change Harrods one whit.  It didn’t before.  Why mess with a moneymaker?  Another thing they won’t mess with is the world famous Harrods’ winter sale, when prices plummet and crowds mash in with a gusto that makes a sardine tin seem roomy.  Want to get in on this year’s action? Be there at 9:45 am on Wednesday, 26 December, when Cirque de Soleil’s performance will mark the 25th anniversary of the Harrods Sale, in association with Macmillan Cancer Support charity. Doors open at 10am for all the credit card waving bargain hunters.

Until then, here’s a bit of the English table to keep you entertained, a recipe from Harrods.

Beef Wellington with Stilton (Serves 4)

1 tbsp vegetable oil

750g (1 pound 10 oz) beef fillet

1 large onion, finely chopped

3–4 tbsp finely chopped parsley

250g (9 oz) chestnut mushrooms, finely chopped

150g (5 oz)Stilton, crumbled into small pieces

1 packet of puff pastry

1 egg, beaten

Horseradish sauce to serve

1. Preheat the oven to 200°C/400°F/Gas 6.

2. Heat the oil in a non-stick or heavy frying pan on a high heat, and fry the beef until it is browned on all sides. Remove the meat from the pan and set aside to cool for about 15 minutes.

3. Reduce the heat and add the onion, parsley and mushrooms to the pan. Season with salt and pepper. Fry for a few minutes, then remove from the heat and leave to cool. Add the crumbled Stilton and stir gently.

4. Roll out the pastry into a rectangle slightly wider than the beef and long enough to wrap completely around the beef. With the longer side of the rectangle nearest you, spread the Stilton mixture onto the pastry, leaving a 2.5cm gap all around. Brush the edges with beaten egg. Place the beef in the centre and wrap the pastry over it, sealing the edges carefully. Fold in the ends and place on a non-stick baking sheet or in a roasting dish.

5. Cut a diamond pattern into the surface of the pastry, being careful not to cut through it, and brush it with the beaten egg.

6. Bake for about 40 minutes. Leave to rest for 10–15 minutes, then cut into thick slices and serve with horseradish sauce.