Ratatouille My Way

I’m on a tear, cooking something new and special everyday, as my devoted readers have no doubt noticed.  My usual modus operandi is to spice things up with a hop-skip-and-jump blend of travel, book reviews, food and the occasional short fiction.  But, travel won’t start in earnest for another week or so, and I’m between books.  But, still I sally forth to entertain.

You’ll notice my recipes of late have spanned the great divide between healthy low carb entrées and devil-may-care carb-gorging.  Well, today it’s back to low carb and for a couple of very special reasons.

When possible, I like to cook something on Sunday that will fill lunch pails for the rest of the week, which brings me to reason two.  Wives can be very demanding and one thing they demand is variety.  Did I really say ‘can be very demanding?'  I meant viciously demanding. And leave the can out.

What is so delicious that it satisfies a schizophrenic wife…whoops, now I’m being redundant… five days in a row? 

I’ve got a one-word answer:  Ratatouille.  The first thing to learn is how to pronounce it.  The A-mur-i-kin version sounds more like Rata-twooy, to rhyme with dewey.  The much more sophisticated French on the other hand…and after all they own the word… say Rata-tu-ee.  Purse your lips when you say the tu part, then soften and slightly lengthen the double e like a French mouse who just learned the disadvantage of being the first one to the cheese.

With a cooking time of four to five hours, this dish screams for a slow cooker, but since I don’t have one, I settled for a conventional oven set at 275ºF (135ºC)

Ratatouille My Way

There is no ONE recipe for ratatouille.  My guess is, every wife and scullery maid in Provence has a slightly different approach. So, rather than insisting on just one way to peel a potato, I humbly title this version Ratatouille My Way.

2 Medium unpeeled eggplants cut in a medium to small dice

3 Medium zucchini, halved lengthwise, then thinly sliced

2 Medium onions, halved and thinly sliced

8 Cloves of garlic, peeled, thinly sliced, then roughly chopped

1 Large red bell pepper, medium dice

1 28oz can tomatoes (I use whole tomatoes and crush them by hand)

1/3 Cup olive oil

¼ Cup Balsamic vinegar

2 Tablespoons dried oregano

1 Tablespoon dried coriander

A fist full of fresh basil leaves, removed from the stalks and roughly chopped

Salt and pepper to taste

Heat the oil on medium to low. Add the onion and garlic.  Cook and stir until they are limp and barely golden.  Careful not to burn them!

Add the diced eggplant, bell pepper, and sliced zucchini and mix well.  Stir frequently.

When the vegetables have cooked down a bit and are looking limp, add the hand-crushed, undrained tomatoes, Balsamic vinegar and herbs.  Stir well.

At this point there will be a lot of liquid in the bottom of the pot.  Bring to a boil.

Cover and put the pot in the pre-heated oven.  Cook for four to five hours.  The vegetables should be very soft, but there will still be a lot of liquid.

Put the pot back on the stovetop and bring to a boil.  Stir occasionally and cook until the liquid is greatly reduced.  You’re not making soup!  This is a hearty, filling blend of sumptuous vegetables that can stand up to a hearty meat dish, and demanding wife.

Voilà!  C’est magnifique!  But, don’t forget the wine!  And tell your wife, of course I didn’t mean her!

Seductive Chicken With Minted Eggplant and Chickpea Salad

Time is always short.  Work. Relax. Eat. Sleep. Work.  Who has time to plan, shop, and cook?  I do.  And out of the goodness of my heart, I’ll do the planning for you and share two tongue tingling recipes. 

Your job is simple.  All you have to do is stop by your favorite grocer on the way home.  When you get home, blast through the door and even before you take off your coat, pop the oven on to 375ºF or 190ºC.  You’ll be able get this exciting, lip smacking meal ready in about 30-45 minutes, depending on how fast you chop. 

Your spouse won’t even have time to complain.  Hey, even Dominoes doesn’t deliver this fast!   

If you’re not married, even better.  You get to impress the man or woman of your naïve dreams.  But first hand a glass of splendid wine to your significant other, or the date you now recognize as a momentary lapse in judgment.  Or do what I did last night and mix a pitcher of Bloody Marys.  That’ll keep the conversation flowing while you prepare to impress.

Oh, yeah, these recipes are especially delicious and if the person you’re cooking for doesn’t like ‘em, either show ‘em the door, or if you’re married, cry and plead for forgiveness.  No problem if you’re the man of the house.  You’re used to begging.

First do the chopping and other prep for the salad.

1 Eggplant, split and then thinly sliced

2 Cans chickpeas, drained, rinsed, and dried

Cherry tomatoes cut in half (your choice how many)

1 Red onion, peeled and thinly sliced.

2 Cloves of garlic, peeled and roughly chopped

- put the sliced onion and garlic in a bowl and marinate with 1/3  cup of seasoned rice vinegar.  Toss the mixture around from time to time.  Add a sprinkle or two of garlic powder.

1 lemon, juiced and part of the rind grated (I use a rough grate)

Small handful of fresh mint, leaves roughly chopped

Handful of sliced almonds (or slivered) browned in a pan with a bit of oil

Olive Oil

Salt, pepper, cayenne pepper as desired

Set the salad makings aside.

Then make the Chicken.

Seductively Simple Chicken

3 Boneless, skinless chicken half- breasts will feed two people

Salt and pepper to taste

Cayenne pepper and powdered Cumin to taste

Olive oil

Yellow corn meal

Use a baking pan (glass or metal) that comfortably holds the chicken, with room to spare.  Slice the chicken breasts in half, lengthwise.  Splash some olive oil in the baking pan and add the chicken.  Season with salt, pepper, cayenne pepper and cumin.  Dust loosely with cornmeal.  Splash with more olive oil and mix everything together by hand.  Pop the chicken in your pre-heated oven and set the timer for 30 minutes.  That’s it for the chicken!

If you’ve got another oven, use it, otherwise let the chicken finish cooking.

Set the cooked chicken breasts aside and cover with foil to keep them warm.  I love warm breasts. 

Reset the oven for broil.

 Putting together the Minted Eggplant and Chickpea Salad

Sliced Eggplant popped in the oven

Splash some olive oil on a large baking sheet/pan and spread the sliced eggplant evenly. Splash more olive oil over the eggplant.  Place the pan under the broiler and let the eggplant get golden brown.  Flip the slices and brown the other side. Remove the eggplant and put the slices in a large bowl.

Put the chickpeas on the same baking sheet/pan you used for the chicken, then put the chickpeas under the broiler until they are golden brown.  Add the chickpeas to the eggplant bowl.

Don’t drain the onions and garlic, just add them to the bowl, along with the tomatoes, and mint.   Splash on some olive oil, all the lemon juice and grated rind.  Add the seasonings and mix well.  Sprinkle the toasted almonds over the top.

Bout time to top-off the wine glasses, don’t ya think?  Salude! Prost! Cheers!

Here’s a conundrum.  If the stomach is the way to a man’s heart, what’s the way to a woman’s heart?   Look for the answer in your next life.

Eggplant, Beef, Tomato, and Mushroom Casserole

Time out from travel writing to share a recipe that will keep a fork in your hand, waiting for seconds.  But, of course if you’d rather just have something quick from McNugget…But, no, you’re particular, a connoisseur , even if you can’t spell the word and still drink wine straight from the bottle.  Perhaps I’m being too harsh and you’re really a jelly jar kind of drinker.

We all have our weaknesses.  My one and only failing is, when I cook, I cook too much.  Dinner for two morphs into a week of leftovers.  In this case, it doesn’t matter a whit.  I could eat this casserole everyday for a month and still have a lingering taste for more.

Eggplant With Beef, Tomato, and Mushrooms

2 large eggplants, cut into half-inch thick rounds

4 (or more) tablespoons olive oil

Couple of teaspoons of salt, or more

1 medium onion, finely diced

4 cloves garlic, thin sliced

1 lb freshly ground beef

2 cups fresh mushrooms, quartered

3 generous shakes of powdered cinnamon

black pepper to taste

1 (28 oz) can of whole tomatoes, pureed in a blender or food processor, juice and all

12 oz fresh (not shredded!) mozzarella, sliced

Some Hints:  I use fresh mozzarella, packaged whole and still in it’s juice. Yes, of course I drain it!  As for the ground beef, don’t settle for the packaged and compressed variety.  Get your butcher to grind some for you RIGHT NOW.  Whole, canned tomatoes taste better to me, so I use them instead of diced or canned tomato sauce.

Wipe a 9 x 12 baking dish with olive oil.

Preheat the broiler, slice the eggplants, paint them (both sides) with olive oil, dust them with salt and pepper and slip them in the oven.  When one side is lightly browned, flip the slices over and lightly brown the other side.  When they’re done, set them aside.  Change the oven setting from broil to 375ºF (190ºC).

Add olive oil to a pan, put in the diced onion and sliced garlic.  Stir until the onions are limp, but not brown.  Add the ground beef and stir, breaking it up until it looks grainy and is just barely cooked through.  Add the cinnamon, salt and pepper (to taste) and stir.  Stir in the quartered mushrooms and cook until mushrooms are barely beginning to soften.

Putting it all together:  Step 1.  Pour a third of the blended tomato sauce in the baking dish and spread it around.  Put a third of the eggplant slices on top, then a third of the meat.  Repeat until everything is used up, with an eggplant layer on top.

Cover the filled baking dish with foil, put it on a baking sheet with sides.  Add a cup of water to surround the baking dish, and slide everything into the oven. Bake for 90 minutes.  This is a sloppy dish and the baking sheet will catch any spills.

Step 2.  Take the baking pan and baking dish out of the oven, remove the foil and throw it away. Put the sliced mozzarella on top, and put everything back in the oven. Do not cover.  Leave it until the cheese is melted and just beginning to brown.

Serve with rice.

Caution:  Do not eat too much.  You will become fat and be all alone and miserable as you drink from your jelly jar.  Then you will also drink too much and forget if connoisseur begins with a C or a K.