Don’t Expect Us to Show Up to Burglaries, Police Chief Warns
Report a burglary? The London Police will make a note of it. Other crimes the downsized police force will ignore include anti-social behavior, dope smoking, and criminal damage. Residents are requested to do their own investigations and report back.
“I want to report my $$$ Porsche burgled.”
“Name please, address please, and time you advised the alleged criminal of his rights.”
Blackmailer put heiress’s pictures on porn websites
James Casbolt got 37 years for posting photos of his ex-wife on porn sites. Heiress Haley Meijer, worth some £5 billion turned down her ex-husband’s request for a miserly £2 million. He admitted making threats against his wife’s family, but claimed mental illness.
At roughly $1.55 per £, £5 billion is $7.75 billion. So, let’s see. Haley Babe balked at giving her mentally ill, grieving husband a paltry $3.1 million, or .00041 percent of her estate. By the time her penniless husband is released, he’ll have lost his hair, his teeth, and be fit only for sucking on soft cookies. Meanwhile, if his house is burgled while he’s incarcerated… well, make a note of it.
Wife wins £3.6 million from dead husband. She’d given him £17.3 million when they divorced, but he killed himself and left his wealth to his adult brothers instead of his children.
This woman is a banker at heart, who Mark Twain says is a person who willingly loans you an umbrella, but wants it back at the first sight of rain, or in this case before the ink is dry on the death certificate.
Looks like this woman doesn’t give up anything easily. Sure, she'll give the money to the children.
Lecturer who exposed Tim Hunt, updates ‘misleading’ online CV.
What did Noble Laureate Tim Hunt say to get himself sacked from his honorary position at The City University?
“Three things happen when women are in the lab…You fall in love with them, they fall in love with you, and when you criticize them, they cry.”
Yes, it was a joke. Hahahaha You’re sacked!
Connie St Louis, a professor of science journalism reacted to this raw sexism with alarm and tweeted the quote. Just forgot to mention it was said in jest. Uh-oh, her bad. Oh, by the way, she lied on her CV (curriculum vitae, approximately a resume). The City University quickly jumped into action to “help her correct her CV,” reconstruct what this paragon of truth really meant to say, and added a couple of things which this time are really, really true.
Said joking things about women, the cad! Lied on her CV, well, obviously we didn’t do enough to help her.
Jane Austen lovers beware!
Hackers have begun to use extracts from Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility (1811). Passages have been wrapped around malicious software to fool scanners into thinking they are on a respectable web page.
Jane replies: I remain astounded at their infelicitous affectations that replace the soundness of bonafide civility with repressive notes of faux intellectual propriety where none exists.
Obesity up in the UK, calories and sugar down
Here are the basics:
About 15 million persons of immense size in Britain. Between 1974 and 2013, among Brit adults, daily caloric intake dropped from 2534 to 2192, yet average weight went up.
Average Weight Gain, per adult é 2 kg (about 4.4 pounds)
Calories ê 4.1%
Sugar intake ê 7.4%
Wait just a soda-can popping minute! Didn’t experts tell us dropping calories and reducing sugar intake would make us lose weight. The Institute of Economic Affairs compiled the data. The Brits had economists compile the data? That explains it.
Obese Claimants who refuse treatment may be denied benefits.
I suspect treatment includes gradually weaning off of Oreos, and voluntary pizza reduction therapy. But, according to The Institute of Economic Affairs, they will still gain weight. (see article above)
I say, quit picking on the morbidly obese! In the UK, 25% of heavy drinkers and 80% of druggies on heroin or crack cocaine receive benefits. The government review, led by Dame Carol Black, the health advisor, will look at how companies can be encouraged to employ people who are struggling to recover from addiction and are otherwise worthless (added).
Sorry, I refuse to have Dr. Jack Daniels do my laser eye surgery, assisted by calorically challenged Cornelia Crumpet. Of course, if you wait, there is a very good chance your National Health Service surgery will be performed by medical students working on your cadaver.