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Monday, November 18, 2013

Frankfurt Airport - Enjoy the Flight!

Dazzling view from the second deck.

Know anybody who yearns to go to the airport?  Hungers for airport food?

Let me be the first.  Frankfurt Airport.  Frankfurt, Germany.  Ok, yearn may be overdoing it.  Seldom does a trip to FRA mean a quick flight, with hugs and wet kisses on the other end.  More likely it’s eight or nine hours of skull-numbing boredom and a snarly question:  “Ya want chicken or beef?”  How ‘bout we go to the galley and I show you a dance called chicken-do-da-colonoscopy?

Ah, but I’m getting ahead of myself.  After you check your bags, what’s your next step?  Grab a cup of coffee? I don’t recommend that if you’re at the Frankfurt Airport. 

Listen carefully.

Your next step is to head to Terminal 2, ride the escalators to the second deck, and stroll into the Flyaway Bar for breakfast, or lunch.  Pretty sure they serve breakfast all day long, but between jet-lag and a wide range of departure times, how the hell would I remember?  But, I do remember the food.

The choices are English Breakfast, French Breakfast, German Breakfast, European Breakfast, waffles, or any of a dozen lunch choices.  A quick question?  What are the differences between all those Breakfasts?  A quick answer:  Not much.  English is scrambled eggs, grilled tomato, baked beans, grilled mushrooms, bacon, toast, and sausage.

With the French Breakfast, keep the eggs, scratch the rest, and add fresh orange juice, cold-cuts, including smoked salmon, plus a baguette, chocolate croissant, and a bunch of toppings for the baguette.

European Breakfast is much the same as the French. German Breakfast leans heavily on cold-cuts, toast, and toppings. 

Oh yeah!  Jaeger Schnitzel!

No German meal is complete without beer!

But, I say, you’re only young and beautiful once. Ah, how I remember those lusty years! Scrap the breakfasts and go for the gold:  Jaeger schnitzel, with greens, a heaping of golden fries, and a tankard of good German beer!  Jaeger schnitzel means hunter-schnitzel, and there’s a heathy ladling of creamy bacon-mushroom sauce over the top.  Hey, it’s a public place; even your wife won’t make a scene when you suck down beer for breakfast.  Use your leverage, order another!  Call attention to yourself!  Stand up and make loud toasts!  Sway with your tankard held high and sing drinking songs at the top of your lungs.

Maybe just a coffee and baguette...

With tomatoes and mozzarella!

The full plan for an early flight.  Stay up late the night before.  Give yourself time for the Flyaway Bar.  Order the schnitzel and beer and beer.  Get on the plane and sleep like an anesthetized infant for the full eight hours.  It’s like a time machine and you’re comatose when they come around with that stupid question: “Ya want chicken or beef?”

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