A glance at the never-ending saga of life in London, and
around the world. Time to focus on
things that matter. By the way, these
are real bits and pieces from the pages of The Times:
Letters to the Editor:
“Should the statue of Sir Nigel keep its duck?” No telling how many times I’ve tossed and
turned over this.
“Sir, having grown up in Watton
at Stone, the Herefordshire village where Sir Nigel Gresley lived, I was
delighted at the prospect of seeing his statue at King’s Cross. Mallards still prosper on the river Beane
that ran through his garden and the village. The mallard humanitises the statue
somehow. Without it, the statue loses
its appeal to all but steam railway buffs…”
Humanitises? It’s a
statue of a duck for god’s sake, next to a statue of a man. And what’s the writer got against railway
buffs? I mean, really!
Another reader clarifies the question: “In 1936, Germany took the railway steam
speed world record with a 124.5 mph run…those onboard included Heinrich Himmler
and Reinhard Heydrich…Two years later, on July 3, a Gresley locomotive, named
after…a pond duck, LINER No. 4468 Mallard,
snatched away that speed record and kept it forever. That is so wonderfully
British.”
Yes, take that, you Nazi bastards! Leave it to the British to concentrate on the
important things! Coal for the
boiler! Stiff breeze in the face! Raise a statue of a man and a duck!
Another reader wrote to say, forget Sir Nigel’s statue and
the duck. How about all the pheasants being killed on the motorways???? Murder most fowl!
On the International
Front:
“Prostitutes in Tajikistan are being accused of hiding their
faces behind Islamic veils to win well-off clients…While sex workers in many
other countries expose more flesh to attract attention…(the Tajik prostitutes)
earned more money by wearing veils to make them more attractive to potential
customers.”
These customers were either
extremely shy or wanted to be able to say to the judge, “I have no idea who
that woman is.”
Keep that burka on, Babe! I ain’t here to kiss you.
On to Who Knew?
“Power posing helps confidence, but does not boost
hormones.” I’m shocked!
“Power posing, such as pressing the hands on the hips, or
leaning back with arms crossed behind the head, does not actually work,
researchers suggested. Standing or sitting in a certain way was believed to raise testosterone levels
and lower cortisol, the stress hormone.”
Believed by whom,
men hooked on male enhancement pills?
Wives who think their husbands love them more than beer?
Researchers suggested? Cowards!
Wave the bullshit flag and euthanize the scurvy dogs.
Back to London:
“Peril of London’s Exploding Streets”
“Firefighters were still tackling an underground blaze last
night more than 24 hours after it broke out in a service tunnel…Thousands lost
power….Richard Beddoe, Westminster City Council’s cabinet member for city
management, says there has been a worrying trend of pavements exploding in
London.”
A worrying trend?
Now you’re got my attention! On a given day, exactly how many London streets
explode? What are the worst exploding street months? Are
exploding streets seasonal? Any
connection between exploding streets and stumbling drunks? God, I hope not.
I suspect other cabinet members are busy working on these trends: Socks that unravel, alcohol and amnesia,
projectile vomiting, loss of sexual function caused by swinging toilet doors,
squeaky shoe irritation.
A Peek at the wacky
world known as France:
“Promoting excessive skinniness will become a criminal offence
in France under a law approved by parliament yesterday to combat
‘thinspiration’ sites on the internet.”
Offenders will be force-fed and their livers harvested for
foie gras.
I suspect the honorable member from Estomac-sur-le Ceinture (stomach
over the belt) introduced this measure.
