Parmesan and Chives Drop Biscuits by the Careless Cook

 

Want a quick, but impressive breakfast nosh for company?  Maybe you just glanced twice at your watch and looked in the mirror to see a face streaked with shame.  Maybe you can’t remember who or what you promised, and your bottle of breakfast wine is empty. Maybe your wife just gave you that look that says….oh, you know what it says!

 

The Careless Cook has just the solution to satisfy guests and expunge a budding domestic problem.  

 

Best of all, when you spy the recipe you’ll find it much cheaper than red roses or an offer to treat everyone to a Champagne breakfast at the Ritz.

 

Let’s get started! 

 

Parmesan and Chives Drop Biscuits

 

Ingredients

First off, heat your oven to 450ºF or 230ºC

You’ll also need two baking sheets, two bowls, one of them large, and your choice of something to stir with.  I use a large Dutch Dough Whisk.  Amazon, about $14

Shall we finally start?  Yes, we shall!

 

3 cups all purpose flour  (I stir the flour with a fork before measuring .)

1.5 tablespoons baking powder

1 tablespoon white sugar

1 teaspoon salt

a generous palm full of well chopped chives (A little more or a little less is ok…hey, this is The Careless Cook!)

a generous cup of grated Parmesan cheese (I grate my own because I think it tastes better than the grocer’s already grated version)

1 stick of refrigerated butter for the dough

½ stick of melted butter to paint the biscuits

1 beaten egg

1 cup buttermilk (I used whole milk and added a few quirts of fresh lemon juice instead)

 

Puttin’ It T-gether

 

Mix the dry ingredients in a large bowl.  Either chop the stick of butter into very small bits, or do as I did and use a box grater.  I grated the butter right on top of the dry ingredients, then add the chopped chives and the grated Parmesan cheese.

 

Mix well!  I used my floured hands.  The butter should then be pea-sized.

 

Mix the wet ingredients and pour into the dry ingredients.  This is where the Dutch Dough Whisk really comes in handy.  The dough should be soft and slightly sticky, but not much of it sticks to the whisk.

 

Use a tablespoon to drop the biscuits one by one onto the baking sheets. No need to mash them down.

 

Paint the biscuits generously with the melted butter.

 

Bake for 11-12 minutes or until the biscuit peaks are dark brown.  See photo!

 

As the biscuits bake and the aroma  makes your guests suddenly decide it’s time to invade the kitchen, you might want to have a bottle of Prosecco or Champagne handy.   (I much prefer the Prosecco)

 

Those guests who told you they must jump on the highway early, may suddenly change their minds.  Oh, yes, time to pop the cork on that second bottle…

 

 

 

 

Caramel Scones from The Careless Cook

 

Caramel Scones from The Careless Cook

 

I was still on the edge of sleep at 0800, but someone had a meeting to attend and it suddenly became my job to furnish coffee compatible knick-knacks for twenty-five hopeful ladies.  Most mere mortals would balk, or lack the confidence of The Careless Cook.  But, The CC never backs or bakes away from a challenge. 

 

I’m certain you assume he had a splendid recipe at hand; something that would flutter the hearts of the hopeful.

 

Sadly, he did not.  And, a search of Chef Google’s recipes revealed a tangle of either special ingredients, or lengthy and boring procedures that might cause The Careless Cook to begin drinking early, or race to the local grocer for cellophane packaged pastries created in a chemistry lab.  Could he inflict such culinary insults on the helpless?  No, he could not.  By helpless, he meant ladies who had outlived two or more husbands and raised a flock of children mostly single-handedly.

 

But wait a minute, thought this King of the Kitchen, What if I know a shortcut through the woods to grandmother's gullet?   Perhaps he’s found a way to avoid grating the butter, and not letting the dough rest until Santa knocks on the door, and eliminating hand mixing until the fingers lose their purpose?  Of course he has! 

 

Lesson number one:  A food processor beats the tactile massaging of, well, whatever.   I may have to rethink that, but I know for sure it’s handier than kneading by hand.  Close call.

 

So sifting through Chef Google’s repertoire, here’s what I came up with.

 

Caramel Scones from The Careless Cook

 

Heat oven to 400ºF or 200ºC

 

2 cups all purpose or bread flour (more for dusting)

2 ½ tablespoons of baking powder

½ teaspoon salt

1 stick of butter, cut into small chunks

½ cup brown sugar

white sugar for dusting

1 ½ apples (about 1 ½ cups) peeled and diced

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

1 egg

½ cup buttermilk (or use regular milk or cream or coconut milk)

 

Make your own caramel sauce for drizzling, or use the commercial version.

 

Toss everything, except the white sugar and the diced apple, into the food processor.  Turn it on and leave it on until a dough is formed. If the dough is too sticky, add a bit more flour. 

 

Dust the counter with flour and roll out the dough to about half an inch thick.  Scatter the diced apple evenly over the dough.

 

Fold the dough onto itself until the apple bits are evenly distributed.

 

Roll the dough out again.

 

Cut to your own specifications. Wedge shape is the norm, but I cut the dough in small rounds, using what used to be a tomato-paste can. Matter of fact, all my round cutters used to be vegetable cans of one size or another.

 

Put the scones on a baking sheet, dust them with white sugar, and slide them in the pre-heated oven.

 

Bake for 12-15 minutes.  As I keep reminding everyone, all ovens are different.  In my case, it took the full 15 minutes.

 

When the scones come out, drizzle caramel sauce over each.

 

Hint:  If you use commercial caramel sauce, pour some in a bowl and use a spoon to drizzle.

 

I prepared enough scones for the feisty twenty-five.  No complaints and no scones came back!  Best of all, I was soon back in bed for an early nap, followed by a short trip to a delightful coffee shop.  Just for coffee, you understand.  The Careless Cook doesn’t consume their chemical concoctions. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Crumpets and English Muffins

Crumpets and English Muffins

Crumpets and English Muffins are not the same…..at least not in England.  In America, the Thomas commercial version of what the English call ‘crumpets,’ are marketed as English Muffins.

Today, let’s make some English style crumpets.  But before we haul out the flour and read the fine print and warn your significant other that you’re about to mess up the kitchen, let’s chat a bit about the concept of crumpets.

Sound a bit sexist when I talk about messing up the kitchen?  You pictured a man in the kitchen and a wife getting upset, right?  I have to admit that’s not far off the mark, BUT, I do know fastidious men who apparently share DNA with Mr. Monk and Mr. Clean.

Years ago, I stayed with friends, man and wife.  The husband instructed me not to make up the bed in the guest room because only his wife could do it properly.  He also went through a four-step process for leaving the guest bathroom exactly as I found it, especially after a shower.  There was also a proper place to put my empty suitcase and my shaving kit.

They wanted me to cook for them, which I did and enjoyed watching the two of them scurry around the kitchen as though it were a surgery, collecting and washing my utensils before they hit the counter.

Bottom line:  Keeping a Kitchen clean ain’t sexist!  So back off and relax, woman! 

A Very Short History of the Crumpet

Fried bread.  Evolved from campfire baking across Europe.  Some say the Irish started it, and back it up with Celtic words that sound similar.  Some say every other country in Europe started it.  16^th Century. 17^th Century.  Anglo Saxons also make a claim.

Victorian England played a hand in taking crumpets from the servants’ kitchens to the lords’ and ladies’ breakfast rooms.

But, nobody I’ve read had sources to support definitive answers. I do know, Samuel Bath Thomas, an English immigrant to New York, created the ‘English Muffin ‘ as we know it, in 1874, dropping the traditional step of adding baking soda.

I know my faithful A.D.D. readers have had enough and are braying and stomping hooves to gather ingredients.  I warn you right off the bat that the whole process takes a couple of hours, including the rising of the dough.   Not a problem.  You don’t have to stand there and watch the dough double in size!  Use you head, man!  Go finish reading War and Peace!  Learn a language!  Polish the silverware!

Crumpets

(the traditional English Way, with both yeast  and baking soda)

1 Cup of slightly warmed whole milk

1 Teaspoon of sugar

1 packet of active dry yeast, which is normally about a tablespoon

1 ½ Cups all purpose flour (I’ve not tried using Gluten Free)

1 Teaspoon rough salt

1/3 Cup water

½ Teaspoon baking soda.

Hardware:  Mixer/beater, large skillet, egg or crumpet molds.

First:  get the yeast going in a bowl:  Milk, yeast, sugar. Cover.  Yeast will bubble in about 5-10 minutes.

Toss:  flour and salt in with the milk/yeast and beat for several minutes.  How long?  Until the batter is smooth and stretches when you pull up the beater.  Yes, this is thick batter!  

Cover: let it rise until doubled, about an hour.  There will be bubbles on top.

Note:  I get good results, putting the bowl of dough in a cool oven, closing the oven door and punching on the oven light.

In a small container:  stir together the water and baking soda.  Add this mixture to the batter, thoroughly beat, and then cover for half an hour.

Grease and heat a large skillet (I used cast iron) over medium heat.  If you have molds (egg molds will do nicely), grease them and put them in the skillet.  Fill the molds with batter, about half to three quarters up the sides.  If you have the heat set correctly, the crumpets should cook for about 7 to 9 minutes.  When bubbles form and pop on the tops of the crumpets, remove the molds and turn the crumpets over to cook for another minute or so.

Note:  Don’t let a lack of molds stop you.  I made some without molds and they were equally delicious, just not as thick.

Note:  To make the American version, check out some other recipes, but essentially leave out the water and baking soda step.

A very short story:  While my companion and I were staying at an Inn/Pub in South Hampton, I ordered English Muffins with my eggs and was surprised that they were thicker, without the chewiness or pockets of holes on the inside.  “Oh,” said the server, “You ordered English Muffins and you probably wanted crumpets.”

Damn, I wish the English would speak A-merikin!

Even better, buttered and toasted, with a side of jam!