Simple Lemon and Walnut Cake by the Careless Cook

 

I readily admit you haven’t heard from the Careless Cook in a while. Make that a long while. Have a bunch of excuses. No. Not correct.  Only one. Poetry.  

 

I can hear my three faithful readers gurgling as they chug some of their beer and let the rest spill down their faded, stained t-shirts, mumbling: “Stop with the chatter! And gimmie me sump-ten ta eat! And make it good stuff! I ain’t waitin’ much longer!”

 

Ok, zip up your pants and follow this recipe, drunk or sober, as if you have a choice. Get your wife to help you with the big words.

 

Time to cut to the kitchen.

 

Simply a Lemon Walnut Cake that you can start stuffing in your mouth in 45 minutes.

 

Ingredients

 

1 cup white sugar

½ cup of butter, softened (I used 30 second in a microwave oven.)

2 large eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla extract (or one glug)

2 teaspoons baking powder, more of less 

¾ cup milk (I use oat milk)

1 tablespoon lemon zest – now is when your wife has to stop in

1 tablespoon lemon juice. (Maybe little more, because the Careless Cook just doesn’t care)

A good hand full of walnuts, crushed (I fold the nuts in a dishtowel and use a rolling pin to teach those nuts a lesson)

 

Very Simple Icing

 

3 tablespoons butter, melted

2 teaspoons lemon juice

3 heaping teaspoons powdered sugar

 

Stir well.

 

 

Getting’ it Done and Keepin’ it Simple

 

Oven to 350 deg F (175 deg C)

 

For baking, I used a well-greased 9 by 9 inch ceramic pan

 

Use a large mixing bowl and beat sugar and butter until fluffy. I used an electric hand mixer.

Then add eggs and vanilla, lemon zest and lemon juice. Use that mixer and really get it together!

 

Add the flour and baking powder. Use that hand mixer viciously.  

 

Add the nuts and do the same.

 

Then add the milk and do more damage. 

 

Drop it all in the 9 by 9 inch baking pan. Bake for 45 minutes. Top should be lightly brown, but still give it the knife test.

 

Make the icing and paint it on.  The first coating it will glisten. When it’s not so glistening, paint on some more and then some more of the same until all the icing is used. 

 

 

 

 

French Breakfast Puffs By the Careless Cook

 The Careless Cook is back.  I know it gets ho-hum to read about another bout with muffins, but this batch is worth your while. Even the name sounds tasty and European and glamorous: French Breakfast Puffs!  Ah, yes. French cafes, the softness of misunderstood language, spoken at a reasonable level.  Civil Conversations. Slim men and women, no matter the age, who could be fashion models.

Have you been to France lately, or Germany, or the UK, or Europe in general?  You may have noticed, unlike Americans, the Europeans do not dress in rags or slosh down food and coffee in disreputable grab-and-go second class slop shops. And which of those joints use ceramic cups instead of classless paper cup trash?

 No, and no again, those in more civilized countries sit, well-dressed, in sidewalk cafes that make you want to leisurely sip a coffee and come back every morning for fresh pastry, served by professional waiters and waitresses.  By the way, you may quickly surmise I do not use the word waitstaff. Have a little pride in your sex, for goodness sakes!

Ok, lovers of civility, let's put some easily made, wonderful French Breakfast Puffs on your table at home!

Set you oven to 350ºF or 180ºC

Ingredients:

3 cups flour

1 tablespoon baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1/3 teaspoon nutmeg

1 cup sugar

1 cup butter at room temp.....I used my microwave

1 cup milk at room temp....once again...microwave in my kitchen!

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

For The Topping

1/3 cup melted butter

3/4 cup sugar

1 teaspoon cinnamon

Puttin' It Together

Grease muffin cups with butter, or do as I do and use Teflon muffin trays, with paper muffin cups inserted.

Get a sizable bowl and toss in all the dry ingredients (not the topping ingredients!!! for goodness sakes!) use a fork or whisk to stir.

In a larger bowl, use an electric beater to whip butter and sugar together.  Blend in the eggs.

Now beat in milk and the flour mixture, some of each at a time, until all are well blended.

Put a 2/3 cup of dough into each muffin tin or paper cup and bake for about 20 to 25 minutes.  The edges should be brown, or you can use a toothpick and make sure it comes out clean.

Allow the baked muffins to cool.

Time to mix the sugar and cinnamon for the toping.

Now paint the muffins tops with the melted butter and dip the tops of the muffins in the sugar mixture.

Voilà! You'll be tossing your paper cups and plates before you know it!

You may even begin to use cloth napkins, just like civilized people!

Sunshine Muffins by The Careless Cook

 

I admit this is not totally my recipe. Well, it kinda is.  This is one of those bakery stories that can have many endings.  As you will see, there is room to customize, add, subtract, and make these extraordinarily delicious muffins your very own.  That’s what The Careless Cook did! What the heck, it’s your kitchen and you’re in charge! 

 

Maybe you’re the cook who likes a quick time in the kitchen, ending with breaking open the Procecco and basking in glory, surrounded by appreciative guests begging for more, which may even include your spouse! Well, maybe. Well,  I'm here for you my close, gastronomic friend! Quick. Easy. Delicious.

 

Ok, time to chill the Prosecco and press the button on the oven that says 350ºF or 180ºC. Baking time is 25 minutes in my oven. Yours may be different.

 

Sunshine Muffins by The Careless Cook

 

Ingredients

 

This recipe makes 24 muffins, but feel free to half it.

Grease two muffin pans or one if you’re making half the recipe.

 

2 ½ cups flour (I used unbleached, all purpose flour)

2 ½ cups sugar

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon salt

3 teaspoons of ground cinnamon

1 heaping cup chopped nuts (or more). I used walnuts, but others use pecans

10 oz frozen mango, chopped.  I chopped them while frozen and let them thaw. Here’s where you can steer your own course with any fruit that delights you, such as apples and berries

½ heaping cup golden raisins, or other raisins if you wish

1 heaping cup unsweetened shredded coconut

4 large eggs

1 cup vegetable oil (I used Canola)

3 tablesppons vanilla extract

 

Puttin’ It Together

 

In a big bowl, mix all the dry ingredients, including the nuts and raisins and coconut, then mix in the mango.  I used my hands for mixing the dry ingredients.  Yes mama, I did wash my hands several times. Yes, I could have used gloves. Yes, let’s get on with the recipe.

 

In a separate bowl, mix well the eggs, oil, and vanilla

 

Add the liquids to the dry incredients and mix well.  Make sure to mix in ALL the flour. Flour tends to hide at the bottom of a big bowl! I used a Danish Dough Whisk. Works well and doesn’t mash things up.

 

 

I used a heaping tablespoon to fill the muffin cups about ¾ full, but a little more or less will do the job.

 

25 minutes later you will be the toast of the hungry neighbors! Recharge those Prosecco flutes and wait for the smiles!

 

Slightly Spicy Cheese Biscuits by The Careless Cook

 

Two of the things The Careless Cook likes to bake are biscuits and scones.    Is it because he is thoughtless and lazy?  No! Not entirely.  Often he is called upon to scape together massive amounts on short notice, to feel hordes of hungry and fabulously beautiful women.  Really? You ask.  Well, some are just hungry. 

Do women drop by the Cook’s kitchen and say, “Get with it you bad boy!  Can’t you tell we’re hungry”? It’s worse than that.  There are groups that meet every week and someone close to The Careless Cook insists these ladies are helpless and must be fed, and that he should also bake enough to satisfy their husbands and unknowns who simply pass through and catch a whiff of fresh baked goods.

But, not only does The Careless Cook bake for the multitudes, but also publishes recipes on this blog.  What a guy!

You may have read and perhaps baked the many biscuit and scone recipes that have appeared on these wonderful pages. If so, he applauds your taste and energy.  We shan’t discuss those who don’t bother and just want to be fed.

But, The Careless Cook still has high hopes for those who dedicate themselves to depending on charity, and will change their slovenly ways.   With that in mind, he offers this wonderful (and easy) biscuit recipe for Slightly Spicy Cheese Biscuits.

On to the baking…..

Slightly Spicy Cheese Biscuits

Oven set to 425ºF

Baking time about 14 minutes 

Every oven is different and the size of these drop biscuits may vary.  

You’ll know when the biscuits are done when the edges are brown and crispy and the peaked tops are a beautiful brown.

Ingredients 

1 1/2 cups flour

1/2 cups course yellow cornmeal

1 heaping tablespoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon red pepper (more if you favor a mouth full of fire)

1 teaspoon salt

1 stick cold butter, chopped fine or shredded

2-3 cups coarsely, not finely shredded sharp cheddar (I used Australian sharp cheddar because I prefer the flavor)

1 cup butter milk (I used whole milk and added a teaspoon of fresh lemon to sour the milk)

Putin’ It T-gether

1. In a medium sized bowl, all all the dry ingredients and mix well
2. Add the butter and use your hands (as The Careless Cook does) or use a beater to mix
3. Add the coarsely shredded cheese and use your hands to mix well
4. Add the milk and mix well.  The Careless Cook uses a Danish hand held whisk/paddle because he finds it a fabulous mixer and easy to clean.

Prepare a cookie sheet by taking a sheet of parchment paper and lightly splash some water on one side so it sticks to the cookie sheet.

Use a tablespoon to scoop up some dough and drop it on the cookie sheet. Keeping going to fill the cookies sheet with lumps of dough about a inch or two apart.

Pop ‘em in the oven, set the timer, and wait for the goodness to happen! This recipe should make about 25 or more biscuits.

Don’t know what a Danish whisk looks like?  Check Amazon!

The Careless Cook has tried this recipe on both the ravenously hungry and the unfortunately picky eaters. Both groups showed surprise and disappointment when the last biscuit disappeared.

Parmesan and Chives Drop Biscuits by the Careless Cook

 

Want a quick, but impressive breakfast nosh for company?  Maybe you just glanced twice at your watch and looked in the mirror to see a face streaked with shame.  Maybe you can’t remember who or what you promised, and your bottle of breakfast wine is empty. Maybe your wife just gave you that look that says….oh, you know what it says!

 

The Careless Cook has just the solution to satisfy guests and expunge a budding domestic problem.  

 

Best of all, when you spy the recipe you’ll find it much cheaper than red roses or an offer to treat everyone to a Champagne breakfast at the Ritz.

 

Let’s get started! 

 

Parmesan and Chives Drop Biscuits

 

Ingredients

First off, heat your oven to 450ºF or 230ºC

You’ll also need two baking sheets, two bowls, one of them large, and your choice of something to stir with.  I use a large Dutch Dough Whisk.  Amazon, about $14

Shall we finally start?  Yes, we shall!

 

3 cups all purpose flour  (I stir the flour with a fork before measuring .)

1.5 tablespoons baking powder

1 tablespoon white sugar

1 teaspoon salt

a generous palm full of well chopped chives (A little more or a little less is ok…hey, this is The Careless Cook!)

a generous cup of grated Parmesan cheese (I grate my own because I think it tastes better than the grocer’s already grated version)

1 stick of refrigerated butter for the dough

½ stick of melted butter to paint the biscuits

1 beaten egg

1 cup buttermilk (I used whole milk and added a few quirts of fresh lemon juice instead)

 

Puttin’ It T-gether

 

Mix the dry ingredients in a large bowl.  Either chop the stick of butter into very small bits, or do as I did and use a box grater.  I grated the butter right on top of the dry ingredients, then add the chopped chives and the grated Parmesan cheese.

 

Mix well!  I used my floured hands.  The butter should then be pea-sized.

 

Mix the wet ingredients and pour into the dry ingredients.  This is where the Dutch Dough Whisk really comes in handy.  The dough should be soft and slightly sticky, but not much of it sticks to the whisk.

 

Use a tablespoon to drop the biscuits one by one onto the baking sheets. No need to mash them down.

 

Paint the biscuits generously with the melted butter.

 

Bake for 11-12 minutes or until the biscuit peaks are dark brown.  See photo!

 

As the biscuits bake and the aroma  makes your guests suddenly decide it’s time to invade the kitchen, you might want to have a bottle of Prosecco or Champagne handy.   (I much prefer the Prosecco)

 

Those guests who told you they must jump on the highway early, may suddenly change their minds.  Oh, yes, time to pop the cork on that second bottle…

 

 

 

 

Dirt Dabs by The Careless Cook

 

Dirt Dabs by The Careless Cook

 

No dirt in the recipe, so no shovels required.  Sit back and be prepared to bake delicious and deliciously easy cookies that you can just drop on a baking sheet and pop in the oven.

 

As usual, The Careless Cook did not use a recipe.  Some of the recipes he found were not to his liking, or were too sweet, or he didn’t have the ingredients and he was too pressed for time to race to the closest grocer.  He had a flock of hungry, older ladies depending on his charity and you know how demanding they are. One against many. No chance. Better get those cookies in the oven.

 

But NO recipe?  Well, once you know how to make cookies, you have the basics.  Flour. Sugar. Salt. Butter. The rest is up to your imagination.

 

The Careless Cook lacks a lot of things, but not imagination. For one thing, he talks too much.  So let’s get on with it!

 

Dirt Dabs

Heat the oven to 350ºF or 180ºC

Get a couple of baking sheets ready, spray very lightly with vegetable oil.

 

Ingredients:

 

2 cups flour

½ teaspoon salt

1 cup raisins, plumped (toss the raisins in simmering water, just long enough to get them soft.)

½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder (This is the Dirt!)

½ cup white sugar

½ cup brown sugar (either dark or light. I used light.)

1 stick  (1/2 cup) melted butter

2 eggs

½ cup rolled oats

½ teaspoon cardamom powder

¼ cup vegetable oil 

 

Puttin’ It Together

 

Mix all the dry ingredients, including the raisins.

 

Mix the wet ingredients. 

 

Mix well the wet and dry ingredients.

 

Plop the mixture, tablespoon by tablespoon on the baking sheets.

 

NOTE:  You can make the Dirt Dabs large or small.  I chose small and mine took about 10-12 minutes to bake.  Hey, I was baking for ladies!  If you’re baking for lumberjacks who eat with both hands, you will want to bake the big ones and they need to bake longer.  Either way, when the edges barely start to crisp, the Dirt Dabs are done.

 

And so are you!  Time to be so pleased with yourself you sit back, sip your Irish Coffee and wait for the compliments to flow.

 

Depending on how The Careless Cook is feeling, he may keep the Irish and give up on the coffee.

 

 

Scones with Macadamia Nuts by The Careless Cook

 

Scones with Macadamia Nuts by The Careless Cook

 

As my three faithful readers know, The Careless Cook is a proponent of regarding a recipe as a mere starting point, a rough guide, a batting of beautiful eyes from across the room, not a date, not a marriage, nor the last word on what goes in the oven.  No change in attitude when I first looked at this scone recipe.

 

The original recipe called for an egg.  I didn’t have an egg.  Of course the Kitchen Warrior did not let that stop him, and neither should you.

 

Then, there was another item that was not on hand. Heavy Cream.  Can you really make scones that taste like scones without something so essential as Heavy Cream?  Yes.  Will it taste OK?  Yes again.  Better than OK!  Rave reviews!

 

So, hopeful readers, what are the secrets to guide you to success?  Only a few: ingenuity, creativity, and no fear of failure.  Don’t worry about the last one, I got you ready! And ditto, you can skip the first two as well.  And if you don’t care for The Careless Cook’s standby ingredients and prefer to go back to the traditional way, he’s got you covered for that too. 

 

Time to stop the chatter and get cookin’, but first heat the oven to 400ºF!

 

Ingredients

 

2 cups all purpose flour 

½ cup sugar

½ teaspoon table salt

2 ½ teaspoons of baking powder

½ stick butter, chilled (straight from the refrig)

1 cup of oat milk (or ½ cup heavy cream and one egg)

(more oat milk or heavy cream for painting the scones before baking)

1 ½ teaspoons vanilla extract 

About 70 whole, salted Macadamia nuts (this bit of salt joins wonderfully with the sweetness of the scones)

 

Puttin’ It Together

 

Mix the dry ingredients in a bowl. Use a box grater to grate the butter and add the butter and work it into the flour mixture.  I used a dough cutter, but a couple of forks will work.

 

Mix the wet ingredients in another bowl.

With me so far?

 

Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir with a spatula or your fingers or anything else you have handy.  Keep mixing until you have the dough completely blended.

 

Using a tablespoon, drop the dough, spoonsful by spoonful onto a baking sheet.  This made 23 small scones for me. But don’t worry about the small size, they SPREAD while baking.

 

Paint the scones with oat milk or heavy cream.

 

Lightly mash in three macadamia nuts on each scone.

 

Place the scones in the oven and set your timer for ten minutes. Check to see if the edges of the scones are browning, as well as the macadamia nuts.  EVERY OVEN IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT, TEMPERATURE WISE.  I needed another 3-5 minutes.

 

The scones will flatten while baking and may stick to the baking sheet a bit.  I used a metal spatula to loosen them and gently lift them onto the counter to cool.

 

Time for a second cup of coffee. Don’t be ashamed to sip in a slosh of your favorite gift from Scotland.

 

I made these for a ladies group. Older ladies. Very grateful ladies, insuring that I will bake for them again and again.

 

Gâteau d’Alsace by The Careless Cook

 

A Savory Cake from the Alsace Region in France

A cake version of Quiche, with cheese, onion, and bacon

By The Careless Cook

 

For the few who don’t know, Alsace in on the border of eastern France and western Germany.  

Very historic and has been passed around more than a lady of the night with sailors in town.  In the War of 1870, also called the Franco-Prussian War, France invaded Prussia and Prussia not only returned the favor, they kicked some French fanny.  With the Prussian victory, Alsace and parts of Lorraine suddenly become Prussian.  Biggest thing to remember:  As a result of the Prussia victory, the Germanic states united and became Germany!  Yep, Germany as a country is younger than the United States!

Street scene in a town in Alsace

What the heck does that have to do with cooking a savory cake? Alsace and Loraine.   Cuisine! A wonderful mix and match!  And Le Gâteau d’Alsace is a wonderful example. Savory and delicious!

 

Time to git in the kitchen and git cookin’!

 

Gâteau d’Alsace

(My recipe differs slightly from tradition, but so does The Careless Cook!)

 

Ingredients

 

5 tablespoons salted butter, melted

8 oz of either chopped bacon or 2 packages of lardons (bits of either French or Italian fatty ham, available in packets in the deli section of most grocery stores)

1 medium sweet onion, diced

1 cup full fat buttermilk

1 good slosh of olive oil, a tablespoon or two

2 large eggs

2 ½ all purpose flour

1 ½ teaspoon baking powder (I don’t measure this exactly.  I prefer to give it my best guess)

¾ teaspoons table salt

½ teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon, more or less, black pepper

8 oz (2 cups) grated or finely diced baby Swiss cheese. Tastes much like Gruyère cheese at half the cost

Heaping teaspoon Italian seasoning (the only one I use is The Spice Lab’s Italian Rustica.  Far superior. Available on Amazon)

Puttin’ It Together

 

Oven at 350ºF 180ºC

Butter and flour a 12 x 8 Teflon baking pan

 

Fry the lardons in a skillet over low heat and cook until crispy and the fat is rendered.  Takes about 15 minutes.  Scoop them out of the pan and place in a small bowl.  Set aside.

 

Add the onion to the fat in the skillet.  Medium heat.  About 10 minutes or until turning golden.

 

In a large bowl, add the flour, baking powder, salt, baking soda and pepper.  Stir in the cheese, Italian seasoning, and lardons.  Stirring these  into the flour keeps cheese and lardons from sinking to the bottom of the pan when you bake.

 

In another bowl, whisk together the buttermilk, oil, eggs and melted butter.

 

Important:  USE A SPATULLA (I dip mine in cold water) to blend the buttermilk mixture and flour mixture.  This doesn’t happen immediately, but have faith and stick with it until all is sticky and blended.

 

Scrape the dough into the oil/floured pan.  Smooth it out and bake for 45-50 minute, or until a knife inserted in the cake comes out clean.

Wait 10 minute or longer to make sure the cake is cooled enough to be easily removed from the pan.

 

Serve warm.

 

Past time to pour the wine, or if you make this for breakfast, pour a nice cup of café au lait.  You might want to renew you high school French or at least practice the accent.  Zeez is un gateau with zee goo-d fla-vor, n’est pas?  Help your French friends to forget the Franco-Prussian War.  Vive la France!