Showing posts with label humorous verse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humorous verse. Show all posts

Friday, June 28, 2024

Trivialities


  

Trivial, yes, in truth it’s waste of days and time and so,

We babble on, I wonder why, I blink my eye and although 

Baby powder’s so much cheaper at the grocer on the corner

Yes, of course, but don’t mind me, I am just a natural yawner.

 

Tell me won’t you, once again, why the Johnsons got divorced.

Yes, I’ve heard, but carry on, and fill in all details, of course.

Is it true that he’s a pig, a dreadful swine in every way?

I head it all from Charlene Chase, who meets for coffee everyday.

 

The doctor calls it canker sore, and claims it goes away quite soon

Read directions line by line, still it’s sore and almost noon.

Margaret had terrific moles, such unsightly little beasts

They’re black and sprouting hairs; she should cover them at least.

 

Yes, it’s how it comes and goes and clutters up my day

Listening to this and that and everything thing they say.

Such rude and selfish folks they are, hogging all the time,

With their ailments, and complaints, they leave no time for mine. 

 

 

 

 

Monday, August 14, 2023

The Triumph of Trivialities

 


The Triumph of Trivialities by William Stroud

Trivial, yes, in truth it’s waste of days and time and so,

We babble on, I wonder why, I blink my eye and although 

Baby powder’s so much cheaper at the grocer on the corner

Yes, of course, but don’t mind me, I am just a natural yawner.

Tell me won’t you, once again, why the Johnsons got divorced.

Yes, I’ve heard, but carry on, and fill in all details, of course.

Is it true that he’s a pig, a dreadful swine in every way?

I head it all from Charlene Chase, I meet for coffee everyday.

The doctor calls it canker sore, and claims it goes away quite soon

Read directions line by line, and still it’s sore and almost noon.

Margaret had terrific moles, such unsightly little beasts

They’re black and sprouting hairs; she should cover them at least.

Yes, it’s how it comes and goes and clutters up my day

Listening to this and that and everything thing they say.

Such rude and selfish folks they are, hogging all the time,

With their ailments, and complaints, they leave no time for mine. 


Sunday, January 22, 2023

Breaking Up

 After what she said to me

The salt was in the wound.

 

If I erased her from my mind

It would not be too soon.

 

She scorched me with her fiery tongue,

Laid waste with her blue eyes.

 

Those eyes which once in wonder seen,

I’ve now come to despise.

 

It’s not enough to say we’re through,

Much deeper goes the sword.

 

Cutting like Excalibur

Was every scabrous word.

 

But, she did smile in her goodbye,

And softer did she sound.

 

Perhaps she did not mean for me

To find a lake and drown.

 

I know I should not sit and dwell,

My mind is far too active.

 

Perhaps I’ll consider her best friend,

Whom I also find attractive.


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Wednesday, September 22, 2021

Oh, Nonsense!

 



Oh, Nonsense!

 

 

Morning Blooms

 


Morning blooms in streaks so bright

 

Offspring of the fertile night

 

And soon they’ll dance beneath the moon

 

And with the morn again will bloom.

 

 

 

Look Both Ways

 


Never, never, said old Fred

 

Fail to look beneath the bed.

 

And never ride one point of view

 

And cling to it when there are two.

 

Just as when you ride a bike,

 

Or walk a mile, or ride a trike,

 

Always, always look around

 

Right side up and upside down.

 

You seldom see it with one glance,

 

Especially true with new romance.

 

 


Grasshoppers

 


When a grasshopper hops, is it always in the grass?

 

If they’re high up a tree do they come down really fast?

 

Do they lose their power of leaping if they’re higher off the turf?

 

Do they grasp the error they made before they splatter on the earth?

 

 

 

Money Trouble

 


A dollar bill is faster than anything I know.

 

I put it in my pocket, hoping it will stay,

 

But then I go to reach for it and it’s gone away.

 

Even fastest sprinters cannot move that fast.

 

Dollar bills are wicked fast, no wonder they don’t last.

 

 

 

Count Down to Midnight

 


I promised I’d go early and climb into my bed,

 

But promises are hard to keep, as has often been said

 

Make some food, read a book, turn on the TV

 

Time just races on and on, or it seems to me.

 

I never quite get settled, though trying as I might.

 

Time to pour just one more drink before it chimes midnight.

 


 

Packaging


 

I pulled a loaf of bread off the grocer’s shelf today

 

And read the label on the loaf, just to see what it would say.

 

Here is what I found today, as I went down the line,

 

I do care for my health, so I read them all the time.

 

No gluten and no soy and no dairy and no meat

 

No sugar and no chemicals to sweep me off my feet.

 

No butter or faux seasoning, no this and that, it said

 

No animals were harmed in the making of this bread.

 

The packaging quite colorless and quite light for bread.

 

When I opened up the loaf, I found another sign.

 

This bread loaf has no flavor, and no taste and you will find.

 

The label’s just for reading and for covering our behind.