Blender Banana Cream Pie by The Careless Chef

 

Blender Banana Cream Pie by The Careless Chef

 

I’ve had so many people writing and asking questions about the Lemon Pie recipe.    Now I’ll answer all three of them.

 

1. You said you use a whole lemon in the recipe.  How do you get the seeds out?

Well Daphne, the secret is in the list of ingredients and I specifically refer to the lemon:  chopped.  Then look for the little hard white thingies.

 

2. What if I don’t like lemon because they hurt my stomach and I break out in hives, but my husband likes lemons and they don’t hurt his stomach?

I offer two solutions:  The first, is don’t make a lemon pie, Mildred!  Option II, which I think suits you better:  Sacrifice yourself for the good of mankind and continue to complain.

 

3.  Can you use fruit other than lemon?

Yes, Chrystal.  In fact, the other day I used moldy tangerines.  Just be sure to brush your teeth afterwards.

 

But, now, showing his magnanimity The Carless Cook will toss you another blender delight:  Banana Cream Pie!  Hint for Daphne:  Peel the bananas.

 

Blender Banana Cream Pie

Heat the oven to 350ºF, 180ºC

 

Ingredients

 

¾ cup sugar

3 tablespoons cornstarch

½ cup heavy cream

1 ½ cups milk

3 egg yolks

4 bananas, PEELED and broken into pieces (I used very dark, overly ripe bananas because that’s what I had in my frig)

a pat of butter

a nine inch graham cracker piecrust

 

Now comes the really difficult part:  Put everything but the piecrust in a blender and blend until it is the consistency of pudding. 

 

Pour the contents of the blender into a saucepan and cook until it begins to thicken.  Stir constantly or you will have lumps at the bottom of the pot!  Cook a couple of minutes more.

 

Pour the mixture into the piecrust and slip it in the oven for 15-18 minutes.  In my oven it took the full 18 minutes.  You can tell the pie is done when you only get a tiny bit of wiggle in the middle.

Allow the pie to cool, then cover and put it in the refrig.  It will thicken up nicely as it cools and will be easy to cut into slices.

 

For serving, you can top the pie with lightly sweetened whipped cream, or decorate with extra rounds of banana, or do as I did and just lightly sprinkle the whole pie with cinnamon.  OR, you can use the egg whites to make a merengue, pile the merengue the top and then bake the pie. 

Merengue is not a favorite of The Careless Cook.  He thinks it detracts from the fruit flavor.  This is one of the lesser known of his personality flaws.

 

I tested my creation on a women’s Sunday School class and got rave reviews, along with proposals of marriage, and several phone numbers.

 

Only kidding.  No one proposed marriage.

 

 

Sometimes Ya Gotta Have Pie: Cream Pie!

Sometimes when ya gotta have pie, ya just gotta have pie!  I think you know what I mean.  Maybe it’s one of those late night episodes on TV, when the detective sits on a stool at the counter in a late night diner, sipping his cup of black coffee, and his partner says to the blond, gum chewing waitress, with the pencil stuck behind her ear:  Could I get a piece of pie, please?

That’s it!  He just pulled the trigger and shot you right in the brain with a pie bullet!  Before, you were thinking sleep, but now…!!!  Gimme a frapping fork and a glass of milk!

You’ve got my empathy, but more than that, now you’ve got my recipe.  Simple, quick, if you use a pre-made crust, which of course I don’t because pie crust is one of those holy of holies that take me back to the happy days of childhood, the intoxicating aroma of my momma’s kitchen, and the soft tones of her voice as she explains how to make her pie crusts.

See, now I’m having sensory overload, between a detective creasing a mile high pie with his fork, and boyhood dreams of my momma’s kitchen.

I’m just sayin’ it ain’t my fault!  I gotta have some pie!

Cream pie

For the crust:  If you’re in a hurry, use (my throat is clogging up as I write these words) a frozen, store bought piecrust.

But, if you’re a kitchen hero, as I am, you’ll make your own crust.

1 ½ Cups all-purpose flour (plus a little when you roll it out)

½ teaspoon sugar

½ teaspoon salt (I use kosher salt) *

1 stick, plus 4 ounces of cold butter

3-5 Tablespoons cold water

Put the flour, salt, and sugar in a mixing bowl.  Cut up the butter and add it to the bowl.  Using a pastry cutter, cut the butter into the flour mixture until it resembles coarse meal.  Add three tablespoons cold water and mix with a fork.  Not moist enough? Add another tablespoon or two of water.  Just make sure you have workable dough, but not soggy.

Form the dough into a ball, then press it flat with your hands.  I do this on a wide piece of plastic wrap, with the dough mashed down the about as thick as my finger.  Wrap the pancake of dought with plastic wrap and put the it in the refrigerator for an hour to chill.  Heat the oven to 425ºF (220ºC)

Remove the dough from the refrigerator, dust your counter top with flour and roll out the dough into a thin crust.

Fit the raw crust into a pie plate and crimp the edges.  Take a fork and pierce the bottom of the crust a few dozen times.  Don’t be shy.  This will keep the dough from bubbling up while it bakes.

Slap the piecrust in the oven and bake for 15 minutes or until the crust is golden.

Allow the piecrust to cool to room temperature.

For the filling:

2 Cups whipping cream

¼  heaping cup of confectioners sugar

1 generous splash of real vanilla extract

2 bananas, peeled and sliced

A handful of whole almonds, roughly chopped

Whip the cream until it starts to thicken, then add the sugar and vanilla extract and continue to whip until the peaks are fairly stiff. 

Put the chopped almonds in a small pan, along with a pat of butter.  Stir occasionally, until you can see and smell the toasting almonds.  Remove from heat, put the almonds on a plate and allow to cool.

Puttin’ it all together:

Cover the bottom of the cooled crust with slices of banana.  Fill the pie with the whipped cream.  Scatter the toasted almonds over the top and place in the refrigerator until the pie is chilled, about half an hour.  Ready to eat!

Don’t like bananas?  Feel free to slice fresh strawberries, ripe pears, or any other fruit that crosses your hungry mind.

If you use a commercial crust, this pie will take about 45 minutes to make.  Takes me a bit over an hour if I make my own, but that includes a fair amount of cooling/chilling time, during which I am able to sit on my couch with a brandy and watch the detective finish eating his pie.

*  How can salt be kosher?  It’s not, but it’s a coarse grind that’s used to cure kosher meat.

Guinness Beef Pie

And you thought Guinness, the heavenly gift from Ireland, was just for drinking, shampooing, brushing your teeth, and gargling.  As the Irish say, fook no.  You gotta keep some spare cans in your kitchen.  Tuck a couple of cans away where your thirsty wife won’t find ‘em. I’m about to give you just one reason why.  Guinness Beef Pie.

But, first I have to let you in on a secret.  Yes, I know I’ve blogged about going to the Guinness Brewery at St. James Gate, Dublin, and told you most of what you need to know about this Irish legend.

http://stroudallover.blogspot.de/2013/08/a-little-bit-of-ireland-lot-of-guinness.html

But, in my haste, I left out the part about crowd-pleasing cooking.   I’m going to rectify that omission, right after I give you a hint about using Guinness for either cooking, or drinking:  buy Guinness in a can.  It’s marked ‘draft’ and that’s not just an expression.  Normally, if I can’t get real draft, I go for a bottle, but in the case of Guinness, I make a rare exception.  The Guinness cans contain an agitation ball and when the can is opened and poured, the brew is aerated automatically, giving you very, very close to a true draft taste.  Ok, now that you’re enlightened, let’s move on to the long anticipated, lip smacking recipe.

Guinness Beef Pie

2 ½ pounds (approx.) beef chuck roast, most fat removed and the beef cut into spoon-sized cubes.

2 tablespoons oil

4 ribs celery, diced  (I use the leaves as well)

2 cloves garlic, diced

3 carrots, peeled and diced

1 onion, diced

1-2 teaspoons powdered cinnamon

1 can Guinness (14.9 Fl. oz., Draft)

2 heaping tablespoons undiluted beef broth (not granulated or normal strength.  I always use Bovril)

3 tablespoons butter, mashed together with 3 tablespoons of flour for thickener

1 sheet of packaged, frozen puff pastry crust, thawed

1 egg yolk

salt and pepper to taste

Salt and pepper the beef.  Put the oil in a large pot, or Dutch oven and turn heat to medium high.  When the oil is hot, add the beef chunks and stir to barely brown.  Don’t worry that the meat is only partially cooked.  It’ll get a lengthy cooking very soon.  Don’t pour off the extra liquid from the cooked meat.

When the beef is barely browned, add all the vegetables/garlic and stir.  Add the can of Guinness and the undiluted beef broth.  Add the cinnamon.  When the mixture comes to a boil, lower the heat to a simmer. Partially cover and let the mixture cook until the meat is tender, about an hour.

When the meat is tender, add the flour/butter mixture and stir.  Cook another 5 minutes or so until the gravy thickens, and also to cook away any raw flour flavor.

Meanwhile, let the sheet of puff pastry thaw.

Heat the oven to 350ºF, or 180º C.

Pour the pie

mixture in a casserole dish, cover decoratively with the sheet of puff pastry and paint the puff pastry with a beaten egg yolk.

Bake for 30 minutes or until the pastry is light, golden brown.

You’ve deprived yourself long enough.  Pop the top on another Guinness and let’s discuss your favorite Irish writers.  On the other hand, we can concentrate on drinking and eating and just say ‘fook it.’