Nude Dreams

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Plants and Flowers, B & W, Inside and Out!

Plants and Flowers, B & W, Inside and Out!

My mother always had a garden and so did my grandfather, so maybe it’s an inherited green-thumb thing, although I haven’t noticed anyone staring at my thumb. 

Greenery adds something soft and gentle, both outside the house and inside.

Have plants yourself?  Do you talk to them?  I do.  I play music for them, too.  They seem to like the same kind of music I like.  Rock and Roll gives them panic attacks. Rap turns them into carnivores; anyway the Venus Flytrap seems to enjoy it.  Poison ivy does well, too.

A few times I’ve rescued plants that were not being properly cared for.  I repotted them, gave them reasons to live and they turned into grateful and graceful giants. Lately I’ve been playing French café music, starting with the soundtrack from Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris.  Do they like it?  Mais, Oui!

Plants and flowers have a lot going for them.  First thing anyone mentions is the color.  But, I’ve found plants can also share the magic of drama and for my money, no art has more drama than black and white photography.

Here are a few examples.  Not hard to do.  All of these photos came from inside and outside my house.

Chicken, Pesto, Pasta, Don’t Ya Know

Chicken, Pesto, Pasta, Don’t Ya Know

Sometimes the Italian hidden in all of us springs forth.  Last night, the floating lyrics to Arrivederci Roma and accompanying accordion set me off. 

Ah, the splendor of it!  Dreams of hillside olive groves, the unrepressed aroma of espresso, and condensed trickles of water on bottles of white wine at outdoor cafés.  In narrow streets, smells of pizza and fish markets waiving past.  The smooth, but staccato bursts of lyrical language, carried along by waving hands, and unsubtle remarks about gorgeous women flowing past. White and red table cloths, cloth napkins, polite and competent waiters with movie star looks, the purr of Vespas, and most of all, dishes whose deliciousness defies description.

So, can’t ya git some good spaghetti right here in the ole U.S. of A.?  Oh, my word, you charming, but pitifully mistaken man.  Maybe there are some good Italian restaurants here, but I have yet to find one to compare with the real thing.

And, so, regretfully, I must live on memories and pursue my own meager culinary talents.

But, there are some associated pleasantries I can employ.  Things to set the tone. Italian white wine is a good first step.  Flowery Italian music is next. A woman gently stroking my hair as she sips her wine and whispers “Baciami molto…”  This of course is the dream sequence in my already complicated dream. But, after all, it IS MY dream.

How about the food, my three, constantly hungry, faithful readers ask?  They sound as impatient as snapping alligators. 

First, I must mention, I read about a chicken salad that used most of the ingredients in my pasta dish.  But, not being able to leave well enough alone, I dropped the mayo and converted the recipe to a pasta dish.

So, here we go, on our way to delicious egg noodles (because that’s what was in my pantry), with bits of roasted chicken, home made pesto, and chopped, oil marinated, sun dried tomatoes, half an onion, half a lemon.  That’s it?  Yep. Toss some grated Italian cheese on top, if you prefer.

The Ingredients:

3 cups of roasted chicken, boned, skin removed, and shredded

1 cup of pesto (recipe below, or use a jar from the supermarket)

1 cup of oil marinated, sun dried tomatoes, well chopped. (Careful not to use too much of the oil!)

½ sweet onion, diced

1 package of egg noodles, or the pasta of your choice

juice of half a lemon

Putin’ It Together

Boil the noodles according to package directions.  Meanwhile, add the diced onion and a little olive oil to a deep frying pan.  When the onions are soft, toss in the sun dried tomatoes, pesto, and roasted chicken.  Stir well and heat through.  Squeeze half a fresh lemon over the mixture.

Drain the noodles, but save a little bit of the noodle water.  Toss the chicken mixture over the noodles and stir well.  Add a bit of noodle water to make the mixture combine.

Serve with a wedge of fresh lemon.  Hello Italy!  Goodbye hunger!

This is a meal meant to be shared around a big, noisy table, with plenty of wine!  Saluti!

Here’s the Pesto Recipe I Promised:

In a food processor, combine 2 packed cups of fresh basil leaves, ½ cup each of grated cheese, pine nuts, and olive oil.  – No fresh basil?  Use spinach.  No pine nuts?  Use any nuts you have handy.  I’ve used walnuts and roasted pumpkin seeds and both were delicious.  Taste and add a bit of salt if you choose.

Simple Sausage and Vegetable Stew

Simple Sausage and Vegetable Stew

Yes, I confess, I’m a simple man, with simple recipes that are simply delicious. My three faithful readers know this to be true.  My mantra is: 

If nobody complains, it’s delicious! 

Or as Confucius didn’t say: Man who cooks expensive food has no cents left.

And keeping it simple leaves more time for Happy Hour. So pour until you’re poor and let’s get started.

The only ingredient that may make you blink is Andouille sausage, which these days is found in nearly every American supermarket.  What, you may well ask, is Andouille sausage.  The short version is, Andouille originally came from France or Germany, as so many of the world’s sausages have.  Ingredients:  pig’s innards, garlic, and spices.

The American version, is made from pork butt, which has nothing to do with the porcine intestinal track, but is shoulder meat, with garlic and spices.  But, what if you’re late getting home, stop off at Gas to Go, and can’t find Andouille?  Use regular smoked sausage, add a bit of red pepper and lie to your wife and in-laws.

Ingredients

This dish is best made the day before you serve it, to allow the flavors to meld, but I’ve also served it straight from the pot.

3 lengths Andouille Sausage, sliced in rounds

1 can fire roasted, diced tomatoes, juice and all

1 large, sweet onion, peeled, cut in half and sliced

6 cloves of garlic, peeled and left whole

1 green bell pepper, seeds and ribs removed, sliced into matchsticks

1 can large butter beans, drained

1 big handful of baby carrots

2 heaping tablespoons of Herbes de Provence, or herbs of your choice

4 cups chicken broth (add more if needed)

olive oil

Puttin’ It Together

Slosh some olive oil in a large pot, add the sliced onions and garlic.  Cook on medium to low until the onions are translucent.  Add the green pepper and cook for several minutes longer.

Add the sliced sausage, diced tomatoes, butter beans and baby carrots. Stir until the sausage is barely cooked.  Add the chicken stock and bring to a boil, then relax the heat to a simmer.  Cook until the broth is reduced.  If you reduce it too much, add more stock before serving.

I accompanied this with chicken flavored rice and Pinot Gris wine.  

My Lover Says It’s Hot Today

With Apologies to William Shakespeare

My Lover Says It’s Hot Today

My lover says it’s hot today

And sweat pervades her every pore.

I say she’s covered with the dew

On glistening skin that I adore.

She asks me if her hair’s in place

And runs her fingers through the curls

I say its fine in every way,

Her hair shines as the sun on pearls.

You try to be on my good side

A sparling gleam now in her eye.

You have no bad side, I maintain

You’re fair from north and south, I sigh.

And she smiles so broadly now,

And what about the west and east?

All across the compass rose,

Your radiance will yet increase.

Your eyes are blinded by the sun

But, when I’m covered by the shade?

Even in the darkest night

Your fulsome beauty will not fade.

Nor drift away, nor ‘ere decline

Even in sweet morning’s sun

And when the darkness does descend

Yes, even then my heart succumbs

Yes I had to memorize this in high school, and the words and rhythm and beautiful flow have stuck with me.

William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

Sonnet 18

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate.

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer’s lease hath all too short a date.

Sometimes too hot the eye of heaven shines

And often is his gold complexion dimmed:

And every fair from fair sometimes declines,

By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimmed.

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,

Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st,

Nor shall death brag thou wand’rest in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st.

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

When It Comes to the Proper Use of Language

When it comes to the proper use of language, I’m a pretty tolerant guy.  What I mean by that is, I appreciate regionalisms.  I’m fine with the folks from western Pennsylvania and eastern Ohio dropping “to be” where normal people stick it in.  I’m thinking of “The car needs washed. The supper needs cooked.  I’ve lost my Be’s and don’t know where they are to found.”  Those folks were sired by immigrants from German speaking regions of Europe, and we all know in the German language, verbs are separated by as many words as you can shove into a sentence.

I think I should take my mother to the store, comes out I think I should my mother to the store bring. So considering the linguistic handicap, western Pennsylvanians do ok.

Let’s not stop there.

Even normal Americans often tie English in little knots and pound it down a rat hole.  Some examples of appallingly unnecessary and misused words:

I actually want to go to the store.  Well, actually I don’t care.  Just go to the store and shut up about it.

Where are you at?  I’m the man in the red raincoat at across the street giving you a thumbs up…..wait, that’s not my thumb.

I’m investing in a pair of high heels.  Have you picked out a street corner to invest in?  When I invest, I plan to make money and I’m thinking you do too.

I bought it because I like the price point. Are you trying to say you liked the price?  Just checking the point you’re trying to make.

If you don’t hand over your money, I’ll shoot you.  

Are you serious?  

Famous last words.

He graduated college.  What else did he do with college after he graduated it? Oh, my mistake, you meant he graduated FROM college.

But, I have a very special bone to pick with gender, the currently popular substitute for sex.  Of course, a lot of things these days are substitutes for sex. Porn is rampant, drugs are rampant, and still we choke at using the word sex and substitute a polliwaddle word like gender?

Gender is a linguistic term, often tangled with male and female, which has nothing to do with either.  In French, police are la police, feminine.  

In German, which sex is the child?  Oh, they’re not either, they’re all gender neutral, das Kind, die Kinder.  

So linguistically, gender is not to be confused with the word sex, which differentiates men and women and fun on Friday night.  I’ve lost the war, but the battles rage on.  For those who think gender’s a good substitute, I suggest you go home and have some hot gender.

What some famous personalities have said about sex, none of which use the term gender:

I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.

--- Woody Allen

Good sex is like good bridge.  If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.  --- Mae West, actress

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. --- George Carlin, comedian

Sex is kicking death in the ass while singing. --- Charles Bukowski, German poet and novelist

Physics is like sex:  sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.  --- Richard P. Feynman, physicist. 

Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. --- Woody Allen

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.  --- Woody Allen

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.  --- Steve Martin

Things you’ll never hear:  Please stop sucking my dick or I’ll call the police. --- George Carlin

Ducking for apples. Change one letter and it’s the story of my life. ---Dorothy Parker, writer and wit

Is sex dirty?  Only when it’s being done right. ---Woody Allen

So, what ‘gender’ are you?  Masculine? Feminine? Neuter?

Maybe you’re at from Pennsylvania?