Salad Dressings: Everything Starts with Vinaigrette

 

Salad Dressings:  Everything Starts with Vinaigrette

 

 

I haven’t purchased commercial salad dressing in a LOOOOOONNNG time.  It’s not the cost that bothers me with commercial stuff, and I confess I can’t make it like the big factories do.  See, I don’t have MSG, phosphoric acid, xanthan gum, EDTA, inosinate, and Guanylate handy in my kitchen.   I’m just a simple guy who did pass chemistry, but didn’t use that ebullient knowledge to plot my way through life.

 

I wouldn’t even know exactly what to buy, so I decided to find out.  When I looked up disodium guanylate, my spell checker ripped off it’s mask, coughed in my face, and shot me an evil look.

 

Disodium guanylate, also known as sodium 5’-guanylate and disodium 5’-guanylate, is a natural sodium salt of the flavor enhancing nucleotide guanosine monophosphate. Disodium guanylate is a food additive with the E number E627.  It is commonly used in conjunction with glutamic acid.

 

Nope. Decided to skip that ingredient, along with a host of others and start with the basic ratio for vinaigrette:  3 parts oil, 1 part vinegar.

 

Started with, I said, not finished with.  See, that’s just too oily for me, so I dropped the ratio down to 2 to 2.

 

But, there are many many oils and vinegars.  To start, I had to pause a minute for a sip of wine and ponder the variations.  Pondering took longer than I’d expected.  And more wine.

 

I settled on olive oil and rice vinegar, which is not so strong as other vinegars.  And to help out my sweet tooth, I used seasoned rice vinegar.

 

But, once you begin adding ingredients and since your blender is being ignored, it was time to invite the blender to join the team.  Finely chopped garlic….oh, hell, add another clove.  No need to be stingy.

 

Want the dressing to stick more easily on the salad greens?  Add an egg yolk.  Make the blender happy!

 

I don’t like to splash salt and pepper directly on salad greens, so I add a dash of sea salt and freshly ground pepper to the mix.

 

Damn good, but in days to come, I fiddled and added different ingredients, but not all at once.  Sometimes I wanted a hint of Dijon mustard and sometimes something citrusy. 

 

Lemon zest lends freshness.  Orange slices add a bright flavor.

 

Like things creamier?  Sometimes I do. Best to add an egg yolk and blend it in before adding some cream or buttermilk.

 

How about an Asian tilt?

 

Try this:

 

Sesame oil and olive oil, or canola oil (one portion each)

Peanut butter (2 portions)

Lime juice (one portion)

Soy sauce (one and a half portions)

If you didn’t use seasoned rice vinegar, add honey to suit your taste

A clove or two of diced garlic

Hot sauce if you like, plus salt and pepper

 

Once again, blend it well.

 

For the Asian salad, I add shredded cabbage to the greens.

 

I prefer to tell you the portions instead of a tablespoon of this and that ‘cause I don’t know if you’re making salad dressing for two or twenty.  But, as a rule, I make more than I need, so I’ll have some in the frig ready to use.

 

Yes, I have added wine or sparkling wine to the dressing.  And sometimes I use a mix of vinegars, such as balsamic, or unseasoned rice vinegar.  

 

Fresh herbs, like rosemary or basil, or cilantro will serve you well.

 

I realize this is a shotgun blast of dressing ideas, but that’s part of the fun.

 

A few years ago, as I visited a friend and his wife, he asked me to “Please make that salad, with the dressing you made when we were at your house.”

 

“’Fraid I’m going to have to wing it, bro.  I never make the same dressing twice.” 

 

See even salad can be exciting, especially if you get to piddle with the dressing.

 

What if you don’t have a blender?  Well, if you’ve got wine, you’ve stomped grapes, right?

 

 

 

       

Olive Oil Fest (Das Olivenölfest) in Zell am Zellertal

A view of Zellertal

An olive oil festival in the tiny village of Zellertal, on a high hill in the midst of wine country?  I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when the wine merchants and village elders sat around, downing schnapps shooters and playing ‘who’s got the dumbest idea?”

            “We need to have a fest.”

            “Why?”

“Every podunk in the entire country has a fest!  That’s why!”

“Maybe a wine fest?”

Heads shaking around the table.  Someone pipes up.  “Too damn many wine fests already.  We need something….well, I don’t know….something…”

            “How ‘bout a bicycle fest?”

Murmurs of disapproval.  “We live on top of a mountain! What’s the crowd going to look like? Five sweaty guys with legs like fence posts?”

            “Chicken plucking festival?”

            “Dirt scattering fest?”

            “I think you’re on to something.”

            From the far corner:  “Yeah, drugs.”

            “I know, I know…,” a big smile, “Olive oil fest!”  A dead silence descends.  Pondering continues, the silence broken on by the clink of a bottle on the rims of schnapps glasses.

            “Olive oil fest?”

            “Why not?”

            “We don’t grow olives is the main drawback.”

            Enthusiasm brews.  “We could serve fish!”

            “I know there’s a point you’re trying to make, but it escapes me at present.”

            “We could import the oil.”

            Pent up sarcasm. “And afterwards, when we’re stuck with a few dozen leftover barrels?”

“We have a fish fry.”

            “Yeah, we could empty the whole North Sea.”

            “Very funny.”

            “Ok how about a Tibetan music fest?”

            “Holy mother of Bacchus, you guys are getting further off track than a blind tour guide in the Sahara.”

            “Let’s do all three!”  Another round of schnapps magically appears and suddenly it all makes sense.  An olive oil festival at a tiny hilltop village in Germany, where no olive oil is produced, hundreds of miles from the sea, and surrounded by acres and acres of vineyards, serving fish, and musical entertainment with Tibetan chants.

Leave it to the wine merchants and city elders of Zellertal to think outside the barrel!  So far, none have been arrested for hallucinogens.

.

Tins of Spanish Olive Oil

So what happened?  The fest has grown every year!  Last weekend, crowds filled the streets. Long lines queued for wine, beer and fish.  Cars filled every two-lane highway leading to town, and traffic wardens earned enough money to buy vacation homes where the weather is warm and olive trees grow in the yard.  Turns out the merchants and elders weren’t so dumb after all!

Tents sold everything imaginable, including oil from Spain (world’s largest producer), Italy (world’s largest importer/exporter), Greece and Turkey, numbers three and four and Morocco, number eight.  There may have been more, but my curiosity was kicked aside by an overriding thirst for some juice of the grape.  A chilled Portugieser rosé was just the thing.  Hey, this is wine country! 

Portugieser Grapes

Back to olive oil.  Where does the U.S. rank?  A respectable 16^th.  All this acquired from my diligent research, on behalf of my faithful readers.

Here’s a question for you:  besides cooking, salad dressing, and naked wrestling, what else is olive oil used for?  Chapped lips, hand moisturizer, mix with cat food to eliminate hairballs, rub into dry hair to control frizz.

How about hair growth, as in curing hair loss?  I’m kidding right?  Nope. (http://www.md-health.com/Olive-Oil-For-Hair-Growth.html)  According to this article, hair loss is caused by the hormone dihydrotestosterone (DHT) and the production of that hormone is hampered by the application of olive oil to the scalp.  What’s the procedure? you ask.  Rub a small amount of olive oil into your scalp and through the hair.  Cover your hair for about 30 minutes, then shampoo and condition normally.

How about exfoliating your hands and making them look young again?  Coat your hands with oil, sprinkle them generously with salt (coarse salt works best), and go through the normal hand washing motions for about a minute.  Wash your hands with soap and water, then apply a bit more olive oil, or your favorite hand lotion. 

I mentioned fish and Tibetan music.  The fish came pickled, fried, or smoked, in sandwiches, or on the plate, with rolls or a couple of choices of potato salad.  My favorite was fried, with a generous helping of vinegar based potato salad.  Recipe for the potato salad?  Of course.

A couple of pounds of potatoes, peeled, boiled, then sliced and allowed to cool.

½ Cup olive oil

3 Tablespoons to ¼ Cup seasoned rice vinegar

Tasty optional additions:  A heaping tablespoon of your favorite mustard, chopped parsley, or cilantro, chopped green onions.

Mix all the ingredients for the vinaigrette, and toss with the cooled and sliced potatoes.

Now, how about the Tibetan music?  One of the dark and chilly wine caves echoed with music so darkly mystical as to make you want pull out your voodoo dolls and drink monkey blood from human skulls.  Photos from Tibet lined the walls and rested proudly on the oak wine barrels.  Yes, I walked through, but managed to find my way out before slicing my wrists.  This was dark! music in a dark! cave.  Breaking out into the sunshine was like escaping from a creaking coffin. 

Ate well, drank well, and got into a wonderful conversation with two German ladies.  Yes, my significant other/ designated driver was by my side.  The day was glorious and delicious, but no I didn’t buy any olive oil.

Please Be Lentil

I’m a warm weather guy.  Always have been and now that spring's here, I’m all about backyard picnics with friends, for some sitting, sipping, chatting.  Those are the good parts, but we all know preparation for entertaining guests can be a wild beast if you let it.

Here’s a recipe for keeping things simple, so you can help yourself to a cool one, relax, and still impress your guests.

Number one:  Do it yourself bacon-lettuce-and-tomato sandwiches.  That’s the basics.  Want to fancy it up?  Try some different breads and spice up the mayo with a couple of dollops of pesto.  Put it out and let them busy themselves making a sandwich exactly as they like it.  Add a plate of spiced olives to the picnic table.

Number two:  For something different, whip together a very easy lentil salad. Make it ahead and serve it at room temp.

Lentil Salad

2 Cups (1 pound or 500 g) of green-gray lentils.

1 Carrot, peeled and chopped

1 Medium onion, diced

11 Tablespoons of olive oil

6 Tablespoons of vinegars (I used a mix of pomegranate and seasoned rice vinegars)

2 Heaping Tablespoons of Dijon style mustard

2 Heaping Tablespoons of chopped fresh herbs from your garden (I used thyme and marjoram)

1 Big, meaty handful of fresh spinach

Shavings of cheese

Salt and pepper to taste

Put the first three ingredients in a pot, cover with water and bring them to a boil, then simmer for 30 minutes, or until lentils are just tender.  If you need more water, add it.

Drain the cooked mixture and set it aside.

While the lentils cook, make a simple vinaigrette:

8 Tablespoons olive oil, 5 Tablespoons of mixed vinegars, the Dijon mustard, and salt and pepper to taste.

Whisk everything together and when the lentils are barely warm, mix in the vinaigrette and fresh herbs.  Set the bowl aside for the flavors to meld.

Before serving, whisk together the remaining oil and vinegar, and pour it over the fresh spinach.  Blend in the spinach with the lentils and put the cheese shavings over the top.  Presto!  Easy and everything is done and waiting before the guests arrive.

I’m not only a warm weather guy, but also a lazy guy.  Join me. Take a seat.  More bubbly?  Sure, why the hell not?